Longing for Spring
by jankg27
Summary: The third part in a triology that follows "After the Fall" and "Season 3 Re- Write". Several events I alluded to in each of those stories will come into focus as Matt and CJ finally begin their married life together.
1. Chapter 1

**Longing for Spring - 1**

_Houston, Texas, 1972._

_Matt awakened first, almost forgetting where he was for a second and then he remembered: the sofa. As he lifted his arm he brushed against something soft and also remembered he wasn't alone. He glanced down at the warm body wrapped up next to him and smiled._

_CJ._

_They had spent the night together, and in the most innocent of ways. A part him was happy about that fact, another – well another part of him wished they were waking up together after a night of not being so innocent. He wasn't sure why he was thinking that way – maybe it was the looming fact that he was about to leave for war and would be gone for at least twelve months. Or, maybe it was simply because he was a healthy young man with raging testosterone and the girl, no woman, cuddled on the sofa next to him was quite pretty, and becoming more so every day. Just his luck that he'd realize it now - now that he squandered so many opportunities over the past few years. _

_He leaned in closer to her face, intent on giving her a kiss and not letting another opportunity slip by when he heard his name._

"_Matt?" _

_He looked up to see his father standing in the doorway to the dining room, considerately calling his name softly as to not disturb his best friend. Matt gently climbed off the sofa, carefully substituting his lap with a pillow and joined him._

"_Son, I have to go into the office for just a couple of hours. But, I promise I'll be back in time to see you off this afternoon. Mrs. Gutierrez made breakfast with plenty for others," he said as he nodded towards CJ._

_Matt followed his father's eyes and glanced her way._

"_Oh, good, yeah, and CJ really loves her blueberry pancakes."_

"_I'll see ya soon," he said briefly embracing him._

"_See ya Dad," he reciprocated as Bill excused himself._

_Matt stood in the doorway a second deciding if he wanted to wait until CJ woke up or eat right away. She looked so peaceful sleeping there that he didn't want to disturb her. There was plenty to go around, so maybe he'd help himself right away. By the time she woke he would have seconds. No one would dare criticize him … or care on a day like today._

_He was into the third or fourth pancake when her voice caught him by surprise._

"_Hey, were you going to let me sleep through breakfast and eat all of those yourself?" she asked, standing in the doorway with her arms crossed._

_With his mouth full he shook his head apologetically and pushed the serving plate towards her._

"_I hope I didn't wake you?" he asked after swallowing._

"_No, the aroma did," she answered as he pushed out a chair for her with his foot from underneath the table._

_As soon as she sat down she began devouring the pancakes as if she hadn't eaten in days. He watched in impressed amazement._

"_Geez, CJ!"_

"_I'm hungry!"_

"_I guess so! Where do you put it all?" he asked, re-examining her well-known lanky figure. _

"_My brain," she flatly replied, causing a light chuckle from Matt._

_That response actually made sense, for CJ was probably the smartest person he knew. She aced every class she took now matter how challenging, graduated high school a year early, took extra credits in her undergraduate studies, and always wowed everybody with her oratorical skills. Known as "Queen of the Debate Team" from her reputation of using her astute intelligence and highly-researched arguments to put even the most experienced expert in a corner. Throughout the years of friendship Matt learned to acquiesce quickly when CJ set her jaw. There was no way he'd fall victim to The Queen._

_Now her jaw was busy like his, devouring breakfast as if they were having their last meals. When Matt finished, he stared at CJ, taking some time to study his friend a bit more._

_He had never known a girl like CJ. Besides her intelligence, she was quite strong. Matt would often boast that on a good day she could outrun most of his fellow football players with her speed and agility. But, she also had strength on the inside - an independent spirit and unshakeable conviction that he found he could always rely upon. He could only recall one time when she displayed her vulnerable side: when her father died. Aside from that she was unflappable. He was going to miss his best friend, practically joined at the hips since grade school. For the first time since they met, they would be geographically estranged as he went off to 'Nam and she to law school. What if she became involved with ivy-league friends, met a fellow, and got married? What if he suffered some incredible injury and was never the same again? Or worse, what if he never made it back home? __There were some real strong possibilities that he might never see her again._

_He watched as she finished and made an observation._

"_You left some syrup on your chin."_

"_I did? Where?" she asked searching with her tongue and grabbing a napkin._

_He rose from his chair and came closer to her._

"_Here," he said as he kissed her chin and added a little tongue to lick the remainder of the sticky residue off._

_When he released he licked his lips and smiled. CJ stared at him wide-eyed in shock, not to mention a little peeved._

"_Houston," she sighed, "What'd you do that for?"_

"_Your face was sticky. I cleaned it."_

"_With your tongue? Eeeooooh! Really, Houston!" she exclaimed, wiping her chin ferociously with her napkin and making a face at the gesture._

_He shrugged his shoulders, "Much more sporting that way."_

"_Right, Houston. You're up to no good, I can tell. You think because I let you kiss me once you can …"_

_He cut her off, "You let me? Aw, CJ, I swear you never give me any credit! Can't a guy just have a little fun with you once in while?"_

"_What's that supposed to mean?" she asked as they carried their dishes to the sink._

"_Well, I'm just saying that you should take better advantage of me when I'm around and have some fun. You're gonna grow old before your time with all that scowling you do at guys when you push them away."_

_How dare he! _

"_I don't push guys away and I know how to have fun!" _

"_Yeah? You've pushed me away … at times."_

"_Have not!"_

"_Have too!"_

_His grin widened, knowing he had hit a nerve with The Queen – a rarity._

"_Houston! You're not exactly what I would call 'one of the guys'."_

"_Oh no?" he refuted, glancing down at his crotch._

_She rolled her eyes. "Houston, you know what I mean. And, when have I ever pushed you away?"_

"_How about now?" he said as he leaned in for a kiss._

_She reactively thrust her hands against his chest. It was enough for him to lose his balance and fall onto the floor._

"_See!"_

_She widened her eyes in shock and immediately offered her hand to him._

"_Oh, gosh I'm so sorry!" _

_But he didn't take her hand at first and just propped himself up on the floor, glaring at her._

"_You're sorry, huh?" _

_Before she could reply he reached up to grab hold of the hand she was offering. But, he surprised her by pulling her downwards, causing her to conveniently land on top of him. He pulled his arms around her as tightly as he could and held her. _

_She, of course, resisted._

"_See you're doing it again."_

"_Am not."_

"_Oh, yeah?. Prove it."_

"_What?"_

"_You heard me. Prove to me that you're not pushing me away. Put your body where your mouth is. You know you want to."_

"_What!?"_

"_Why don't you come upstairs with me?"_

_She laughed out loud._

"_No way, crazy man!"_

_She squirmed to get away from his grip, but he wasn't acquiescing. He thought this was an opportune moment to kiss her. But, before he could do that, she wiggled out of his grip and darted towards the back door._

_He bounced up and raced to the door just before she opened it, blocking it with his hand._

"_Uh, uh, uh."_

"_Matt!"_

"_I'm serious, CJ. Why don't we go upstairs and have a little fun before …. before I go away and never see you or the state of Texas again."_

_She rolled her eyes. That had to be the oldest line in the book!_

_But, when she looked directly in the eyes at him she realized that he wasn't joking._

"_You're really serious, aren't you?"_

_He locked eyes with her and nodded._

_But, she wasn't about to give in to his deceitful charms. "No way, Jose!" she laughed as she forced open the door and headed outside._

"_CJ, where are you going?"_

"_Uh, outside," she said sarcastically. Wasn't it obvious?_

_He kept in pursuit, knowing the war wasn't lost, only the battle. When he caught up with her, he grabbed hold of her arm._

_"Now just hold on a second. Look, I'm sorry, CJ. I'll behave."_

"_You will?"_

"_Yes, in fact, I'll be totally honest with you. I just wanna spend my last hours with my best friend. I don't care what it is we do. As long as it's together."_

_She stood with her arms crossed thinking of his confession and watching his eyes for sincerity._

"_Oh, really?"_

"_Yes. I tell you what, wanna go riding instead?"_

_She only had to think a second, "Yep, that I'll do with you. But, if you try anything funny, I'll pop you into the next county."_

_Matt surrendered his hands in the air knowing she meant business, even though in his two short decades on the planet was wise to the fact that if she never stopped pushing men away, she'd always fall short of true happiness._

* * *

To say that CJ Houston was a happy bride was an understatement. Everything about her and Matt's rushed December wedding and subsequent reception was perfect – well, except for the inebriated minister, but that would make a great story to retell in the future. It was actually nice to have something eventful happen in their lives that didn't have to do with injury or tragedy. Now if only they could get through the honeymoon without any drama erupting. And even better – wouldn't it be great to coast through the next seven months, too?

"Now don't either one of you worry about a thing. I'll take real good care of Jolie while you're gone."

CJ smiled at her sister-in-law who had practically read her mind and then embraced her daughter leaving her hands on her shoulders.

"Keep up with your schoolwork while we're gone and help Uncle Roy when you can. We'll only be gone two weeks, so if any problems arise and you can't get a hold of Aunt Zoey, call Grandma Maggie or Cousin Will, okay?"

"Okay," she responded, trying hard to not roll her eyes at her overly-concerned mother.

"I left the number of the resort we'll be staying at on the refrigerator in case..."

"Ah, in case of nothing. Everyone will be fine, CJ. Jolie will be fine, Roy will be fine, the ranch will be fine. You and Matt just go and have a fabulous time," Zoey interrupted, winking her eye at Matt.

Matt took his turn at hugging his daughter goodbye.

"You take care, Sweetheart, and don't forget about the horses."

"Okay … Dad," she simply responded, prompting a huge smile from Matt.

On any other day Jolie would have debated them, but this day was different. Her parents were finally married and soon a little brother or sister would be joining her. Her family was feeling complete.

As they drove to the airport CJ thought about how many years it took them to get to the altar. She couldn't help but wonder if the future would be anything like the past. So many years of memories … adventures … drama … fun.

* * *

_Matt looked over to the west and saw the sky growing a dark grey. The winds were picking up and knew best not to tempt a good old-fashioned Texas storm._

"_Looks like a storms brewing, CJ. We'd better get back."_

_She nodded._

_But, no sooner did he say that than a bolt of lightening struck a nearby tree, causing both of their horses to rear._

_Matt was able to control his horse, but CJ didn't fare as well and lost her grip of the reigns. _

"_CJ!" Matt called out as she went vaulting to the ground. He immediately dismounted, rushed over to her side and leaned into her still body, calling her name._

"_CJ!"_

_But, she didn't answer._

"_CJ!" he called again, finally seeing her stir._

"_Damn!" she cursed as she shook her head and sat up._

_He helped her to her feet and mount her horse just as the heavens opened up. He grabbed hold of her reigns with his and guided her horse through the storm. By the time they got back to the barn they were both soaking wet. After he helped her down he rested his hands against her face._

"_You okay, CJ?"_

_She smiled, "Yeah, I think I just got the wind knocked out of me. I'm okay."_

"_You sure?" he asked as she looked over her mud-stained clothes._

_She looked him directly in the eyes. "Yes, I'm fine. Just need to get out of these wet clothes."_

_As soon as those words left her mouth she regretted saying them in front of such a suggestive audience. She checked Matt's expression thinking he would be smiling slyly, but he was looking at her quite tenderly. _

"_Well, okay, CJ. I'm sure we can find you a change of clothes in the house while you get cleaned up. You sure you're okay?"_

_She nodded, "I'm fine."_

"_Okay, then let's make a run for it," he said as he grabbed her hand and led her running towards the house._


	2. Chapter 2

**Longing for Spring - 2**

CJ and Matt were having a great time on their honeymoon making the most of being together, alone, without a plethora of paparazzi lurking around corners, making notes of every move they made. Oh, they should probably be used to those kinds of crowds by now, especially with the number of family members they had, but there were private moments they didn't need to share with the whole world. And, it wasn't that they didn't love having a large family around – quite the contrary. They loved the fact that their family had grown considerably over the years. It didn't even bother CJ that her mother stayed in L.A.

"Matt, did you notice that my mother seemed rather quiet when we were leaving?"

"Ah, I guess."

"She's really been acting different lately."

"Different how?"

"I don't know … different ... nicer," she said with a laugh.

"Well, she was wounded, that might have something to do with it."

"No, I don't think that's it."

"Do you think she still feels guilty about Jolie getting kidnapped?"

"No, I don't think that's it either. She's been acting different ever since we announced the pregnancy. When we talked about it she seemed rather concerned as to how I was doing."

Matt shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, you're a mother, CJ. You know that mothers never stop worrying about their children."

"Yeah, and I guess I've given her plenty to worry about over the years."

"Maybe it's because she wants to make up for not being there for your first pregnancy."

"Maybe."

CJ and Matt's family wasn't the only thing literally growing in size. CJ knew it would only be a matter of time until she couldn't see her feet any more.

"The human body is remarkable, you know?"

"How's that CJ?"

"How the skin can stretch to three times its normal size without breaking."

He laughed at her comic delivery. "CJ, you're hardly showing."

"I know, but I was just remembering what I looked like in my ninth month with Jolie. Chances are that I'm going to be even bigger for this pregnancy."

Matt saw her concern as a cue for some rebuttal on his part.

"Well, I for one think you're absolutely beautiful, and I can't wait to watch you grow and be even more beautiful," he said, distracting her with a kiss, "And, I think you're so beautiful because of that smile on your face. And I'd bet that's because you're pretty happy, Mrs. Houston."

Her smile broadened. He knew exactly what to say!

"You know, I was just thinking back, back to when we first kissed."

Matt chuckled a bit. "Really? With that grin, I'd thought you were thinking about our first time together."

She blushed.

"It happened so quickly, and yet I can still remember it like it was yesterday."

"I can remember it as if were this morning. Those last hours I spent before … before I became less carefree and more burdened with the harshness of life. You gave me something beautiful that day, CJ. A beautiful memory that I could hold onto, not just during my ordeal in 'Nam, but throughout all my dark days."

CJ lifted her head and looked him in the eyes.

"I don't think you ever told me that."

"Must be a night of firsts then."

CJ arched her eyebrow at him. "How's that?"

"I've never made love to a pregnant woman before."

CJ glared at him.

"You sure?"

He twisted his face, checking that thought.

"Yea, pretty sure."

She laughed, "What I still find so amazing is that of all the women you've, ahem, been with, I'm the only woman you've ever impregnated."

"Yeah, that's pretty incredible. Tells you something, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, I must be the most fertile woman on the planet!" she laughed.

"No, I was thinking that we were definitely meant to be married."

Oh yeah, that, too.

"We certainly have come a long way."

"Yeah. Do you ever wonder, if you hadn't interrupted your career and enlisted, lost Will in the war, that things would have been different? That we might have married a long time ago?"

"Yeah, maybe. Might have had a few more kids, too. Who knows? Might have never been a p.i."

* * *

_Matt walked back upstairs after returning from the laundry room, passing by the library where he caught CJ sitting on the sofa. Her body language suggested that she was in a contemplative mood, since she her legs were tucked underneath her and her arms were wrapped around her, stroking the plush texture of his velvet robe._

"_There you are," he said as he casually took a seat next to her and put his arm behind her._

"_Whatcha been doin'?"_

"_Thinking."_

"_About …"_

"_About what you said earlier. You know me like a book, Houston. I should know by now that I can't hide anything from you."_

_He stroked his hand along her long locks cascading over her shoulders. "Sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."_

"_It's okay. I think I needed to hear it, though, I just wish I knew a way to get over it."_

_Oh, he knew a way, especially since she looked so irresistible to him right now. The minutes were ticking away and he wanted nothing more than to show CJ how he felt about her. He knew he had to make at least one more attempt._

"_I might know how to help you."_

_She arched an eyebrow at him._

"_You know, CJ. I really care about you… a lot. I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you … and if … if you were my girlfriend, well I just think that we'd have a lot of great times together," he said, grabbing a hold of her hand and squeezing it._

"_We have a lot of great times together now? Why take the chance of ruining our relationship?"_

_He had to admit she had a point, but he couldn't lose sight of his goal now. He had to plead his case and change The Queen's mind!_

"'_Cause maybe it could be even better."_

_He thought that was valid point but she scowled. _

"_Or maybe it's your testosterone doing the thinking for ya. I see how you go through girls, Houston. One romp in the sack with me and I'd just be another notch on your bedpost, or whatever you use to keep track of your scores."_

_Oh, cruel she was! As much as the last comment stung, he had to regroup and find a decent rebuttal._

"_Well, for your information there haven't been that many girls and I don't keep track on a bedpost or anything else for that matter. And maybe I date what some people consider a lot of girls because I haven't found what I'm searching for. Maybe what I've been searching for is sitting next to me right now."_

_She wasn't about to believe everything he was saying or fall for his charm!_

"_Is this how you make up your mind of whether or not a girl is worth more than one date, huh? You sleep with them first and then decide? You know, that's backwards, Houston."_

"_Which is exactly why you should be my girlfriend, CJ. I know plenty enough about you to know that we already get along really well. You're not like other girls … at least the ones I've known."_

"_I probably stand out because I'm the only girl you know with a brain!"_

"_A brain, personality, good looks, not to mention a fabulous bod. The complete … package," he said glancing downward._

_She blushed, and he realized he finally stopped her negative train of thought with that comment._

"_And here I thought you never noticed."_

_He eyed her up and down, "Oh, I've noticed, believe me!"_

_She blushed again and couldn't help but smile at his comment._

"_CJ, do you really think I'd ever hurt you?" __(Famous last words!)_

"_I know you would never intentionally hurt me, but there's always fate. Able to get in the way and undo all one's plans."_

_With that comment and her pessimistic expression, he wondered what was plaguing her thoughts._

"_CJ, is there something on your mind I don't know about? Something you wanna tell me?"_

_She paused a moment, trying to find the words to tell him her thoughts without breaking down and appearing too vulnerable. She glanced at the clock and knew she didn't have much time to play with._

"_Life is funny, ya know? I mean one minute you think nothing bad can really happen, and that if it did, it wouldn't happen more than once..."_

"_CJ, I don't follow." _

_She took a deep breath._

"_I thought after my father died, I was safe for awhile. That no one else close to me would leave me for good."_

"_CJ, what are you talking about?"_

_She turned away from his stare and blurted softly, "The doctors finally figured out what's wrong with Julia. She has leukemia."_

_Matt immediately widened his eyes at her._

"_No!"_

_She nodded as tears started in her eyes, "She told me just last week."_

"_I'm sorry, CJ. I know how close you two are, almost like sisters."_

"_She's gonna start treatments a month before the semester starts in Boston. There's a really good hospital up there. She still wants to take a full class load on top of all that. She doesn't want to change her plans at all to become a lawyer!"_

_Matt sat back against the sofa and pulled her close knowing he didn't have any words for her – just his presence. It gave her the strength to collect herself and make what she thought was an obvious confession._

"_I'm gonna miss you, Houston."_

"_I gonna miss you, too, CJ," he answered, letting his head lean against hers._

"_If you don't come back I …"_

_But she didn't say anymore, because Matt had grabbed her lips with hers, letting her know that she meant more than him than she thought. Cupping her face with his hands, he kissed her over and over as he gradually moved on top of her until she was lying directly underneath him. Realizing the sofa was too small and awkward, he invited her to the bedroom. But, for fear of losing her courage, she didn't want to stop the momentum. She reciprocated, succumbing to her secret desires as she grabbed his lips with her own and began fumbling with the belt on her robe._

* * *

The next day, Roy heard the back door open and walked out to the living room.

"Oh, it's you. Hi, Jolie. How was school today?"

With a twisted face she replied, "Just swell."

He immediately knew that something was bothering her and probably wanted to talk, but she bolted up out of her seat and went towards the back door.

"Where you going?"

"Riding," she said as she walked outside.

He walked over to the kitchen window and watched her venture outside. Grabbing his cane he slowly made his way out to the barn, coming to study Jolie grooming her horse for a minute as he rounded the corner of the doorway. He tapped on the door, "Hey Jolie, watcha doin'?"

She didn't even look up.

"Nothin'," she answered as she moved a brush along her horse's mane.

He casually walked in closer to her, hoping to have some success with getting her to talk.

"Nothin' huh?"

"Yep … nothin'."

They weren't making much progress so Roy thought he'd try guessing.

"You miss your parents, huh?"

"No, not really."

"Hmm … you miss your grandmother Carlotta?"

She shrugged her shoulders.

"A little maybe."

"Hmmm, you miss your brothers?"

"I guess the ranch has been a little quieter lately, but ah, no, not really."

Roy wasn't having much success and had to think of something else.

"Something happen at school?"

Jolie raised her head slightly and glanced at him.

"So something did happen at school."

She turned away, but not before handing him a yellow paper that she had folded up in her pocket.

"Jolie!" he exclaimed after looking over it.

"I don't wanna talk about it."

At the same time this was happening, Maggie arrived at the ranch and headed directly for the kitchen. As she began preparing dinner, the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Ah, yes is this the Houston residence?" a man asked.

"Ah, depends. Who's calling?"

"I'm Principal McFarland. Am I speaking with Mrs. Houston?"

"No, you're speaking with her mother, Mrs. Parsons. Mr. and Mrs. Houston are away at the moment. Is there something I can help you with?"

"I hope so. Have you spoken with your granddaughter yet this afternoon?"

"No," she answered stretching her neck to look out the window. "I think she's outside tending to the horses right now."

"Well, something happened at school today that I think you should know about."

* * *

_Within minutes it was over. CJ felt a new closeness with Matt as a warm tingle vibrated throughout her body. Matt would have loved to just lay with her a while – to hold her, kiss her and let her know that he still respected her, but they heard Bill come home. Matt quickly redressed and went to check on CJ's clothes._

"_Matt? I'm sorry I'm late. You still here? Matt?"_

"_Right here, Dad!" he answered as he rushed down the stairs, heading directly towards the laundry room._

"_We went riding and got caught in the storm," he said confidently, wearing an obvious change of clothes._

"_Is CJ still here?"_

"_Yes. She's upstairs getting cleaned up. She didn't fare as well as me and we had to wash her clothes."_

_As Matt brushed past him, Bill didn't think anything suspicious._

"_Is CJ okay? She didn't get hurt or anything?"_

"_No," he said as he retrieved her clothes from the dryer. "Molly threw her to the ground, but she just got the wind knocked out of her."_

"_Hmm, not like Molly to be so volatile."_

"_Well, a bolt of lightening struck a tree near her and she reacted … suddenly," he said as he went running back up the stairs. _

_A few seconds later, CJ bounded down the stairs._

"_Hi Bill."_

"_Hey CJ. I heard Molly gave you quite a ride?"_

"_Yes, I guess she did. But, I've already forgiven her. I should have known better how to distribute my weight when she reared."_

"_Well, the main thing is that you're alright."_

"_Oh, I'm fine, I'm fine. Biggest casualty were my clothes, and as you can see, thanks to the wonders of modern technology, everything came out in the wash!"_

_While they were talking, Matt rushed down the stairs buttoning the shirt of his military uniform. CJ and Bill both turned to stare at the handsome man walking towards them while Matt was busy eyeing CJ's tush._

"_All except for the tear on the back of your jeans, CJ."_

"_Where?" she asked trying to feel along the fabric._

"_Right here," he answered, giving a pat on her backside._

_CJ blushed. In part because of where the tear was and because Matt had placed his hand there. It didn't help that Bill was smirking at them with one eyebrow raised._

"_Oh, well. I still have time to go home and change," she said walking with her back towards the door. "I wanted to wear something special for today anyway."_

"_You won't be joining us for lunch then?"_

"_No. I promised Julia I'd pick her up and take her to the airport. She wanted to say goodbye to you, too, Matt."_

_CJ waved goodbye and bounded out the front door, closing it fast as possible in order to avoid being further exposed. Bill turned and looked at his son, noticing the twinkle in his eye._

"_Oh, so she's calling you 'Matt' now, eh?" _


	3. Chapter 3

**Longing for Spring – 3**

Jolie and Roy entered the kitchen via the back door just as they heard Maggie ending her phone conversation. When Maggie heard the door close, she turned and immediately scowled at Jolie.

Uh oh, Jolie thought. Grandma Maggie was giving her the same exact look of disappointment her mother did from time to time - it must be inherent.

"Guess who I was just speaking with, Jolie?"

"Um … the President?" she jested.

Maggie's scowl deepened.

"No, young lady. It was your principal. Principal McFarland. Does the name ring a bell?"

Jolie thought she was definitely having a moment of déjà vu. Maggie even sounded like her mother.

"Ah, and by the look on your face I bet he wasn't calling to tell you that I made honor roll this marking period."

Roy just shook his head. Jolie was digging herself one large crater to climb out of. What, the little adventure she had in the woods a few months ago wasn't enough for her?

"No, he wasn't young lady!"

Oh boy. Again with the young lady stuff. Jolie braced herself for a very loud lecture.

"Fighting Jolie? This is the last thing your parents need to deal with right now. Of all the irresponsible, immature …" Maggie was so angry she needed to pause, "What ever happened to using your words, huh? Didn't your parents ever teach you how to handle yourself amongst name callers, huh? Let me guess, it was Houston. I bet he taught you how to hit first and talk later, huh? Is that right, huh? Your mother's gonna flip when she hears about this!"

Jolie hung her head, knowing the wrath of her mother would be equal if not worse than that of the original Parsons woman.

"I'm sorry. But, she was saying such nasty things about my family, and she wouldn't stop. She just kept pushing my buttons I guess. I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"Well, it better not!"

Roy saw a chance to speak and thought he'd try to get more details.

"What was this girl saying exactly?"

"She said she heard all about my family from the newspapers and that my mother was a slut and a gold digger. Then she called me white trash and said that I didn't belong in such a prestigious school where most of the kids were pure breads, not mutts like me. I tried to walk away, I really tried, but she kept taunting me! She was calling me names so loudly that everyone on the hall stopped and stared at me. I told her she better knock it off and apologize but then she said that she was glad my father was dead and that she hoped the same thing would happen to the baby!"

While Jolie burst into tears, Maggie swallowed hard, empathizing with the rage that Jolie must have felt.

"I don't want anything to happen to my mom or the baby! Please don't tell her or Houston about this. Please!"

While, Maggie and Roy looked at each other trying to figure out what to say, Zoey came through the door.

"I heard a lot of shouting. Is everything okay in here?"

Jolie rushed over to Zoey and fell into her arms.

"Jolie, what's wrong?"

"She had a really bad day at school," offered Maggie, almost apologetically.

"Oh? What happened?" asked Zoey.

"Jolie got into a fight. She's suspended for three days," answered Roy.

Zoey quickly surveyed the emotional vibe in the room and decided to play it cool.

"Oh, okay. Sounds like something I did a time or two."

Jolie looked up, "Really?"

"Yep."

"How did your parents punish you?"

"They sent me to military school. Yeah, had to shave my head and everything," prompting a laugh from Roy.

"Aunt Zoey, that's not funny!"

No, but it did break up the tension in the room.

"No, seriously. Every morning I had to stay home from school I had a list of chores waiting for me. On top of that, no phone, no TV, no friends over for two weeks."

Jolie looked over at Maggie who was nodding her head.

"Two weeks?"

"Two weeks. And we won't tell your parents, at least not right away. By the time you'll be done with your punishment, your parents will be back from their honeymoon. Keeping secrets like these for a while isn't exactly a bad thing, especially with your mother's condition. I think we're all in agreement that we need to make these next seven months as stress free as possible for your mother."

* * *

"_Hey Matt!" Will shouted as his cousin seemed to be lost in his thoughts. _

"_Yeah?"_

"_That's the third time I've seen you take that picture out and stare at it."_

_Matt smiled at his cousin as the helicopter flew over the jungle._

"_You're just jealous 'cause you don't have a gal as good looking as CJ," he shouted back over the noise of the rotors._

_Will hung his head, __"Are you kidding? I don't even have a gal."_

_"What?! You mean to tell me that Lorrie broke up with you?"_

_"The day before we left. Can you believe it?"_

_Matt patted him on the shoulder, "It's her loss, my friend. There's plenty of fish in the sea."_

_"Yeah, well none like CJ. You're one lucky dude, Cuz. I betcha you'll marry her someday. __You and CJ make a fine looking couple. Probably have some real good-looking kids some day, too, that is if we ever get out of here alive."_

_Suddenly Matt heard gunfire from below and quickly put the picture back in his pocket and aimed his weapon._

"_Keep your mind on the enemies, Cuz. That's an order."_

"_Yes sir."_

_On the other side of the world, CJ came home from a long day of classes to find her roommate Julia collapsed on the couch with a book over her face._

"_Hey, Julia," she greeted, prompting a growl from Julia._

"_Did you have dinner, yet?"_

"_No. Too tired. And I got to finish this book before 8AM tomorrow or Gasperger will have my head."_

_CJ laughed. "I see you're trying the osmosis method. Let me know if it works."_

"_I'm just tired is all. These chemo treatments really knock me out."_

"_I'm sure if you tell him that you had chemo today he'd understand."_

"_No way, CJ. I don't want anyone to make any excuses for me. I'll pull my own weight, just like everybody else."_

"_If you keep skipping meals you're not gonna be able to pull anything. Now, c'mon. I'll make you some dinner, okay?"_

_Julia took a deep breath and used every bit of strength she had to pull herself into a sitting position. _

"_Well, maybe. What were you planning on fixing?"_

"_Veggie burgers, crème of broccoli soup, and some fresh fruit."_

"_Yuck!"_

"_Julia, you gotta eat as best as you can right now. Proper nutrition is half the battle, you know that."_

"_All I know is that you are gonna make one fine wife and mother someday. Either that or a torturer for the military."_

_CJ made a face at that comment._

"_Of course, you would actually have to be dating someone in order to become a wife or mother. And, the way you spend all your time working with your nose chained to a book, it may be a while 'til that happens. You might want to explore that torturer career a little more seriously."_

_CJ chuckled. "Oh, God. You're sounding like Matt!"_

"_Matt? You mean Houston?"_

"_Oh, yeah, right … Houston," she said, trying to evade further scrutiny._

_But, Julia was on to her._

"_CJ …. since when did you start calling him Matt?" she asked surveying CJ's facial expressions. "Did something happen between you two?"_

_CJ rolled her lips inward, trying her best to suppress a grin. _

"_Callista Jolene Parsons! Something did, didn't it?"_

_CJ saw the way her friend's mood was perking up and decided to appease her, so she nodded and released her grin._

"_CJ! Oh my God, when did this happen?"_

"_The day he left for 'Nam. Said he wanted me to be his girlfriend."_

"_I should have known you were in love. You're positively radiant! How long were you going to keep this a secret from me?"_

"_I actually wasn't trying to keep it a secret from anybody. Just didn't want to jinx myself. You told me about the leukemia a week before Matt left for 'Nam. I didn't want to think it was omen that both of my best friends were leaving my life around the same time."_

"_Well, I'm still here, and I have no intent on leaving anytime soon."_

"_Okay, then you'll have dinner?" she quickly replied._

"_Yes, I will," she answered, making her way over to the counter where a stack of mail sat._

"_Oh, I almost forgot, CJ. This came in the mail for you today."_

_CJ grabbed the envelope and immediately noticed the postmark was from Houston, Texas._

"_It's from Bill," she said as she lifted open the seal. Inside was a picture protected by two pieces of cardboard, and a note, saying" CJ, thought you would like to have this. Bill."_

_CJ melted when she saw the photo of her and Matt taken the day he left. He was wearing his uniform and she was wearing her yellow mini dress, complete with matching headband._

"_Oh, CJ. That's a really good picture of you two."_

_CJ pressed it to her chest and smiled._

_"Thank you. I think I will treasure it always."_

* * *

Later, as Maggie tried to rest for the night, her thoughts about CJ consumed her.

She remembered the day she found out that CJ had given birth to a baby girl … a healthy baby girl. She was almost glad she didn't know about the pregnancy from day one because the worrying might have forced her to divulge a secret she had long suppressed in her memory.

All throughout the last three months, between the conversations with her daughter and the events they endured together, she was finally feeling close to her daughter, despite CJ's initial anger over finding out her mother harbored a secret about Julia. She knew she was living on borrowed time, though. There was one more secret she never told her daughter, and now that she was in a possible high-risk pregnancy, worried that her secret might be vital for the health and outcome of both CJ and her grandchild. God, if anything happened to CJ or the baby, she would never forgive herself! Never.

But, she knew if she told her, their relationship would be suffer – severely. Not to mention the initial shock upon hearing the secret and how upsetting it would be to hear. Her pregnancy with Jolie went fine with no complications whatsoever. Medicine had advanced since 1985 and even more so since 1972. The chances of CJ having trouble with her third pregnancy were probably slim to none. Right?


	4. Chapter 4

**Longing for Spring – 4**

Hey, it's a far-fetched plot, I know, but this is fiction, right? Hang on with me a little bit and I'll get to the real drama and tie everything up eventually. In the meantime, enjoy! - Jan

* * *

"I can do this. I can do this. All I have to do is get past the front door and then right to class. Do not stop, do not turn my head. Just focus and before I know it, the day will be over."

Jolie was so intent in dealing successfully with her bullies upon returning to school that she kept verbalizing over and over positive thoughts, grasping her prized ducky charm on her necklace for luck. But, as soon as she approached the front door, she realized that her little tricks wouldn't be enough.

There she was - Emily the Enemy, she had humorously dubbed her, hoping that term of affection would lighten her frame of mind as she tried to make it past her and her friends who stood with their arms crossed waiting for her.

"Oh, it's you, Little Miss Mutt," she chastised. (It seemed Emily had a term of endearment for Jolie, too.)

"Hi," she said sheepishly responded a smile, trying the old flies with honey strategy.

"You know, you're the reason I didn't make the softball team."

"I'm the reason?" (It wasn't her lack of talent and charm that caused it?)

"Tryouts were held while we were suspended. Now I have to wait until next year," she said with her jaw set, taking turns at cracking her knuckles.

"Well, I'm sorry. But, you kind of were the one who started it."

Emily became angrier, "That was the wrong thing to say, Mutt!"

Emily immediately took a swing at Jolie, but Jolie ducked and watched Emily go flying onto the ground. She tried to make a run for it, but Emily's friends made a large circle around them, forcing Jolie to fight back.

"Fight! Fight! Fight!" she heard the gathering crowd cheer.

"Okay, you asked for it," she said as she rolled up her sleeves.

Emily came charging at her again, but this time Jolie surprised her with a swift kick in the gut and a crack on her back with her clasped hands.

"Why you little brat!" Emily cried as they both regrouped.

"Not the first time I've been called that!" she responded.

Jolie heard someone in the crowd yell, "You go girl" encouraging her on. But, while she was enjoying the support, she then heard someone say, "Watch out! Behind you!"

Just as Jolie turned, Emily's fist met with Jolie's nose and sent her tumbling to the ground.

As Jolie tried to get her bearings, she saw Emily charging at her again. She panicked, looking for some way to protect herself from her enemy's fists, but alas, there was nothing around. Jolie jumped to her feet and fired the only resource she had - her fist. It landed right into Emily's jaw, sending her screaming in pain towards the ground.

"All right, break it up, break it up!" she heard a man say as Principal McFarland made his way through the crowd and stood gazing down at the wounded warriors.

"Not you two again!"

* * *

_Maggie rushed to the hospital anxious to find out the fate of her daughter. At the same time Bill Houston arrived having heard about the accident. Locally it was the hottest story going. A whole section of bleachers collapsed during the homecoming football game. CJ was on that section of bleachers, succumbing to gravity and the weight of several people on top of her. She was one of the last to be rescued from the freak accident and still remained unconscious as she lay on the emergency room table, awaiting several tests. Forced to wait, Maggie was glad for the company and exchanged some small talk with Bill._

"_Have you heard from your son?"_

"_Not for a couple of days now."_

"_It's been a little over a month since he's been gone now, hasn't it?"_

Bill sighed, "_Yep, although if feels like years. And then when I see the reports on the news, well … I just hope he and his cousin come back in one piece."_

"_My daughter hasn't mentioned him much, but I can tell, she's misses him."_

"_Matt didn't say much in his last letter about her either, just wanted me to say 'hi' to her for him."_

* * *

"My parents and my grandmother aren't home," Jolie informed as she held a towel with one hand pressed against her face and a ice pack on the other one.

"Well, who is?" the nurse impatiently asked.

"Just my Uncle Roy, and he's like older than dirt."

"Well, we have to call someone. You need to see a doctor."

"You can call my Aunt Zoey. I have her work number. It's 555-3241."

The nurse obliged and dialed the number.

Chris answered, "Houston and Martin Investigations… ah, hold on. Zoey? Line one."

* * *

_A few hours later, a doctor finally approached them and immediately pulled Maggie aside._"_May I speak to you alone, Mrs. Parsons?"_

_She nodded and stepped a few feet behind a curtain, but not out of Bill's earshot._

"_How is she, Doctor?"_

"_Well, she's had some internal bleeding, but we're hopeful in being able to stop that."_

"_Internal bleeding? That's sounds serious!"_

"_Normally it is, but we managed to pin point it, and that's why we need your permission."_

"_Permission? Permission to do what?"_

"_Terminate her pregnancy so that we can operate."_

_Pregnancy? Maggie thought, trying to remain stoic. She didn't want the doctor to think she didn't know her daughter was pregnant. If she seemed surprised, than he might not share important information with her._

"_If you operate, does she definitely have to lose the baby?"_

"_Yes, I'm afraid so. The bleeding is located right at the top of the uterus. The only way we can repair it is if we dislodge the placenta from the womb."_

"_Oh gosh!" she exclaimed before pausing, trying to take it all in. "After this surgery, will she be able to have children in the future?"_

"_Hard to say. Might be risky. Only time will tell. She's young, so she has that on her side."_

_Bill overheard enough to put two and two together. That day before Matt left for Vietnam, that must have been it. His son had gone and done it, despite his lectures about being safe and smart, and not caving into his passions without using his head. If he was standing in the room with him right now he would have given him the lecture of his life – about how he put his best friend's life at risk, not to mention treating her like one of his floozy girlfriends. Bill saw how the girls flocked to Matt. He never really said anything to him about it except that he should be nice, respectful, and by all means carry protection every where he went! _

_The doctor left Maggie's side and she walked closer to Bill._

"_I heard Maggie."_

"_Then I guess you heard that she's pregnant and that they're gonna terminate the …"_

"_Yes, I heard."_

"_That baby would have been our first grandchild," she said, her voice visibly trembling._

"_I know. But they're much too young. They have their whole lives ahead of them. It's probably for the best. And even though they are really good for each other, I know my son. He's nowhere near ready to settle down and be a father."_

_Maggie tried to keep her composure as she took a seat._

"_I didn't even know they had become … closer."_

"_I had this feeling, just before Matt left that they were."_

"_If CJ finds out that I approved of this, she'll never forgive me. The doctor says she wasn't that far along, only about six weeks. I asked him to leave it up to me to tell her that she miscarried. Right now I'm thinking that she doesn't even need to know that she was pregnant. If she doesn't know in the first place, then she doesn't need to know about losing the baby. It'll save her from the hurt."_

Bill agreed, "_I won't say anything to Matt unless you tell CJ."_

* * *

After encountering dozens of tabloid photographers and crowds everywhere they went, CJ and Matt were ready for a real vacation - home. They cut their honeymoon short by a few days and happily headed back to the ranch.

As soon as Roy heard their car approach, he walked out onto veranda.

"Hey, you two. What are you doing back today?" he asked nervously upon seeing the duo get out of their car.

"Let's just say we were tired of interruptions."

"Huh?"

"Photographers and crowds everywhere we went. Seems we're still the news story of the decade."

"Here I thought that island was private?"

"Yep, that's what we thought, too. Oh, well, we're back now. Is Jolie around?"

Roy tried to stall without lying.

"Ah, no ... she ah, went with Zoey on an errand."

"Oh, were you here by yourself?"

"Yes, but it's okay … they said they'd be back shortly."

"Oh, well where did they go?"

"Ah … they ah …"

And then, suddenly they heard another car drive up. "Oh, sounds like they're back!"

Roy breathed a slight sigh of relief, but it was short-lived as he considered their reaction, especially CJ's.

He followed closely behind them as they walked towards the driveway, praying that there wouldn't be a lot of yelling. Okay, there might be yelling, but hopefully for not too long.

Jolie saw her parents walking towards the car and panicked. With nowheres to hide, she resigned to getting out of the car and walking behind Zoey, trying to avoid her parents seeing her state. Fat chance.

CJ headed directly at them, smiling until she peeked past Zoey and took a look at Jolie. Her smile evaporated as she widened her eyes and gasped, "What on earth happened to you?"

Jolie hung her head shamefully and let Zoey answer for her.

"She got into a fight at school," she responded as CJ came closer, placing a hand on her face, examining the splint on her nose and the surrounding damage.

"Your nose is broken?"

Jolie nodded.

"Well, I certainly hope the other guy looks worse than you!" Matt boasted, prompting CJ to turn and glare at him.

Zoey replied, "Jolie's opponent will be drinking through a straw for the next few weeks – broken jaw."

"Way to go, Slugger!"

CJ rolled her lips inward and glared harder at Matt before turning her attention back to her daughter.

"C'mon, let's get you inside."


	5. Chapter 5

**Longing for Spring – 5**

Zoey left for the night having been silenced after the explanation of the account in her own words ended up sounding like a cheap defense strategy for her niece. Even Roy made himself invisible after he saw the fire in CJ's eyes. Everyone was a suspect.

Jolie sat in the kitchen and watched as her mother paced, wondering what she was going to say on the subject. Her father was thinking it over as well, although he seemed to prefer leaning against the kitchen counter and wavering between crossing his arms and bracing his hands on the edge. The reality of what had transpired was setting in and he was fuming, silently, under his breath, too. He would take CJ's cue and offer his two cents just as soon as she gave him the signal. In the meantime they seemed to be silently communicating between themselves as if they had some special sixth sense that enabled them to read each other's minds. Her parents were impressive individuals, not just in that way, but in so many ways. So many ways that Jolie was just beginning to see. Bad news for her. She probably had a blowtorch-at-a-Smokey-the-Bear-convention's chance of getting out of this one unscathed.

CJ abruptly stopped pacing, turned, and faced Jolie without making direct eye contact with her.

"Young lady, right now I want you to only answer the questions I'm about to ask you and say nothing else. Understand?"

She nodded sheepishly.

"How many days are you suspended for?"

"Five."

"Five? I thought that the usual consequence for fighting was three days?"

Jolie crouched lower in her seat.

"It was my second time. So it's five."

CJ widened her eyes as if she was going to explode and Matt took her cue.

"What do you mean, second time?"

"I got in trouble for fighting and was suspended for three days last week."

"Last week?!" CJ exclaimed.

Oh, boy that did it! Now CJ was beyond angry, beyond disappointed. Matt could see the steam coming out of her airways, ears and if physically possible – the top of her head. He hadn't seen her this emotional since that night in the penthouse office some fourteen years ago when she found out he was in love with another woman. This might not end well.

Being this was slightly new territory for the uber-trained lawyer and experienced mother of three, CJ knew she had to collect herself and a few more facts before sending Jolie to the gas chamber.

"Who knew about this, Aunt Zoey, Uncle Roy … anybody else?"

Jolie braced herself, "And Grandma Maggie."

CJ pursed her lips together and stoically walked over to the phone, dialing the guesthouse where her mother was residing. "Hi, Mom. We just got back. Nothing's wrong, well at least I didn't think so until we got home. Give me a call when you get this message."

When she hung up the phone, deafening silence filled the room, the ranch and possibly the whole state of California as Jolie waited on bated breath for her mother to say her next sentence. The crickets outside didn't even dare chirp.

"Can I be excu …"

"NO!" shouted CJ. "Not until your father and I and everybody else who seems to have a hand in this fill me in on all the facts and we decide once and for all what to do with you!"

Upon that statement, Matt thought the intensity was getting a bit too much for everybody, especially CJ.

"Ah, CJ, can I see you outside a minute?" he asked.

CJ looked over at him, still harboring an escalated temper and reluctantly followed him.

"Now CJ," he pleaded, placing his hands on her shoulders, "You're gonna blow a fuse any second here if you don't calm down. This isn't good for you or the baby."

CJ left his grip and started pacing for a few seconds. Then she stopped, placed her hands on her hips and tapped her foot. "What do you suggest we do then, huh?"

"That you let me handle this. I'll go to the school tomorrow and talk to the principal, and try to get this whole thing sorted out. I'll deal with Jolie and see that she learns her lesson."

"I should go with you. I want to go with you."

"I know you do, but I think you need to rest. We just got back and well, we didn't get much sleep on that island!"

CJ narrowed an eye to Matt, knowing he was trying to distract her. "Nice try, but, I'll feel a lot better if I'm there."

Suddenly they heard the back door open and turned to see Jolie standing in the doorway, red-faced and with tears in her eyes.

"Please, Mom. Listen to him! You have to take care of yourself. I don't want anything to happen to you or the baby! This is all my fault. I have a short fuse. Do whatever you need to do to punish me. Please don't take what I did out on yourself!"

CJ couldn't stand to see her daughter cry, especially after everything she had been through in the past few months. Matt couldn't stand to see her cry either, and looked at CJ, communicating telepathically, encouraging her to soften … at least a little bit.

CJ closed her eyes and sighed, then extended her arms for an embrace.

"Come here."

Jolie ran into her arms and immediately turned into a human Niagara Falls, soaking CJ's blouse with all the feelings swirling inside of her. She had a very bad day and on top of all that, she missed Carlotta, Jordan, Johnny, her friend Sasha and all the other friends she was accustomed to attending school with in San Francisco since she was small. She missed her step father, too, having had one too many nightmares of his face turning ashen grey as he left the living. It was probably too soon for her to be separated from her remaining parents – especially her Mom – the one constant she had and continued to need in her life.

"Now what's all this talk about me and the baby, huh? I'm fine. The baby's fine."

Jolie looked up at her, "Grandma Maggie said it was real important to not stress you out, that you're in a high-risk pregnancy. That's why we decided not to call you."

CJ let her daughter's head fall back down as she looked to Matt.

"Your Mom's fine, Jolie. She just has to rest more than she normally would."

He said this last sentence with his jaw set, looking at CJ directly in the eyes, forcing her think twice about her previous decision.

"Okay, okay. Seeing's how you've obviously inherited your father's temper and astute boxing skills, I'll let him handle everything with the principal tomorrow. But, I still plan on talking to my mother."

* * *

_Matt tossed and turned in his bunk, trying to deal with several bizarre images going through his head. In one image he saw the Vietcong aiming their weapons as he and Will as lay hidden in the brush. And then, in a blink, another image of being carried on the shoulders of his teammates as thousands of people were cheering his name. Amongst the crowd were several family members and friends, including CJ who was beaming with pride. But, when he turned away for a second then looked back, she was gone. An empty space occupied where she used to be sitting. Where was she? Where could have she gone?_

_And then he suddenly awakened and sat up with beads of perspiration covering his face._

"_Hey there, Cuz. Looks like your fever finally broke."_

_Matt wiped his brow and tried to swallow, tasting his parched mouth and throat._

"_How long was I out?"_

"_Oh, about two days."_

"_Two days?"_

"_Yeah. And you've been a real drama queen the last couple of hours, talking in your sleep. You better hope Charlie don't ever capture you. You're liable to spill some top military secrets in your sleep. The Army will certainly court marshal you for that!"_

"_What was I saying?"_

"_Here's a shocker: you were saying CJ's name over and over. You said it so many times that I bet everyone on base knows her name."_

_With that statement Will conjured up a laugh from a few of the soldiers around as Matt continued to get his bearings. It didn't to seem to phase him, though, that he was the brunt of their jokes as much as he had overwhelming concern for his girlfriend. _

"_Will, help me up, would ya? I wanna make a phone call."_

_A few hours after surgery, CJ started coming around, but not before having a few dreams of her own. She was in class, no a courtroom, and the judge kept asking her for her closing argument. But, she couldn't speak. She kept trying to mouth something audible as she scanned the room for assistance but nothing came out. Julia was there, Professor Gasperger was there, and … the cowardly lion? The cowardly lion was on trial for assorted misdemeanors? She wiped her eyes and blinked several times. No, it wasn't the cowardly lion - it was Matt. Matt was the one on trial and there were bullets flying … no shards of glass … or was it both? He was in handcuffs and they were taking him away. He kept calling her name over and over as he slowly left her view. She tried but she couldn't seem to get to him, to help him … and she had to help him … and tell him what she knew, her feelings, before he was sentenced to life in prison. _

_She suddenly opened her eyes and breathed a sigh of relief, that is, until she realized she was in a foreign place. Was she in __a hospital or something, and if so, why? Was she sick? Was she injured in a car accident or something? Was she still dreaming?_

_Maggie leaned forward in her seat after noticing that CJ was awake and furrowing her brow._

"_With all the casualties from the game they were out of rooms in the regular post-op wing. They found you a room in the children's wing." _

_CJ turned her head to see her mother and brought her hands to her temple._

"_Is that why I keep hearing music from 'The Wizard of Oz'?"_

"_Yes," she answered, taking a seat on the side of her bed. "They've been playing it over the loud speaker on this floor. Do you remember what happened to you?"_

_CJ had to think a minute as she sorted through reality and fiction._

"_I was at the game ... I think. The bleachers gave way..."_

_She nodded, "Yep, you were on the bottom of a pile of about twenty others."_

"_Oh. How badly was I hurt?" _

"_You had some internal bleeding, but the doctors fixed you up and stopped it."_

_CJ felt a tug along the base of her abdomen and lifted her gown to see a large bandage. Maggie watched her daughter for signs of concern._

"_They say you're gonna be fine. Just need a couple of days in the hospital," she said, still carefully examining CJ's expressions._

"_A couple of days? I have to get back to Harvard by Monday!"_

"_That's all been taken care of. I called Julia and she contacted your professor. He said he'll grant you excused from class for as long as you need."_

"_As long as I need? How long did they say that would be?"_

"_The doctors say that you need to rest and take it easy for a couple of weeks."_

"_A couple of weeks! Mother, I can't take that much time off!"_

"_Now CJ …" Maggie started to plead, when Bill Houston entered the room._

"_Sorry to interrupt, but there's a phone call for you at the nurse's station. Since you're obviously awake now, shall I have them transfer it in here?"_

_But, CJ didn't answer. She was so depressed about her situation that she was looking away, missing the wink Bill was giving her mother._

"_Ah, sure Bill. My daughter could probably use a phone call from a certain person right about now."_


	6. Chapter 6

**Longing for Spring – 6**

Feeling exhausted from the days activities, CJ headed to bed first, hoping to get some rest, but her hopes were quickly dashed when all her mind seemed to want to do was think of all the things she needed to do the next day, especially the conversation she wanted to have with her mother. There was so much she wanted to say regarding the subject of Jolie and how she wanted, no needed, her to tell her mother to always keep the lines of communication open. Should she be confrontational or should she refrain from emotion? Oh, if she only had a choice! Taking the high road was something that often eluded her when conversing with her mother.

Laying with her back turned towards him, Matt climbed into the bed and immediately wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her shoulder and kissing the nape of her neck. Even without looking directly in her eyes, he could tell she was lost in thought.

"Let me guess: you're either thinking about Jolie, your mother, world peace, or the baby."

She sighed, acknowledging his telepathic skills.

"All of the above."

Of course she was thinking about all that, he thought, but no need to be talking about the first three before trying to get some much-needed shut-eye. Happy thoughts before bed were better than stressful ones.

"Hmm, how about we talk about the latter?"

She turned over to her side and faced him, surprised to see he was grinning as if nothing was wrong.

"Matt, how can you smile after what happened today?"

"Hmm, let me see … I am laying in bed next to the most beautiful woman in the world who I love more than life itself and have waited a lifetime to be with. She is pregnant with my child, and all of my loved ones are sleeping under one roof, safe and sound including my first pride and joy. See, it's all a matter of perspective, CJ."

She melted at his answer.

"No matter what comes our way, CJ, we'll go through it _together_. So you don't need to worry about a thing," he said, tracing a finger over her face and kissing her lips.

"Well, there is one thing I'm a little worried about – and I don't think you or I will have any say in the matter."

"What's that?" he curiously asked.

"I really hope this one has my personality traits," she said, patting her abdomen, "I love our daughter more than anything in the world but I don't think I could handle another one like you."

Matt met her eyes, slightly insulted at first, then more realistically reflective as he thought about it.

"Yeah, I guess I was a little like Jolie when I was her age."

"A little?"

"Okay, a lot. I know I gave my father a run for his money at times, but I turned out okay."

CJ gave him a twisted expression, prompting a laugh from Matt.

"Since you're thinking about the little junior here, does this mean you're considering that ultrasound? Do you wanna know if it's a boy or a girl?"

"I'm not sure, although, I guess it would make it easier to pick out names. What do you think?"

"I think … I think we should sleep on it," he said, pulling her closer for a passionate kiss.

Oh, talking with Matt always made her feel better!

* * *

"_CJ?" she heard his voice say, almost not believing it could be Matt. After all, he was in the middle of jungle on the other side of the world, and they don't have phone booths in jungles, do they?_

"_Houston?" she dared to ask. _

"_Yeah, it's me Sunshine. Are you okay?"_

_Maggie saw the smile on her daughter's face and decided to sneak out of the room to give her some "privacy". But, not completely out of earshot, as both Bill and her wanted to ascertain she was unaware of the pregnancy. They figured if there was anyone she'd share the news with, it would be Matt._

"_Oh, God. It really is you! How did you know I was here? "_

"_I had a dream that something bad happened to you. So I called your apartment and Julia told me you were injured at the game. I can't believe it! Are you sure you're okay?"_

"_Yes, they had to do some surgery to stop a little internal bleeding, but I'm fine now."_

"_Internal bleeding?!" he worriedly exclaimed._

"_Yes, but like I said, I'm fine. I'm more frustrated than anything. Doctors say I have to take the next few weeks off."_

_He sighed, "Well, CJ, they know best." _

"_I know but I don't want to miss classes and ruin my perfect record. This is Harvard law school, Matt, not Algebra 101. My whole reputation as lawyer begins now."_

"_Yeah, but CJ, you gotta take care of yourself. You're the only one who can do it, at least until I come back home."_

_Come back home – that sounded like music to her ears, even though she knew that wouldn't happen until May. It seemed like an eternity away._

"_Oh, Matt. Here I am going on and on about me. How 'bout you? Are you doing okay?"_

"_Yeah, not too bad. I mean I had this bout with dysentery this past week and I had to be put in sickbay for a couple of days. But, I'm on the mend now."_

"_Dysentery? That sounds awful!"_

"_Yeah, it wasn't too much fun, CJ. I can think of a lot better ways to have fun … most of them involve you and…"_

_But, she couldn't hear the rest of his sentence, because his words were covered by the sounds of a dozen men or so making lewd comments in the background._

_CJ held the phone away from her ear a second and stared at it._

"_I guess you're not alone, wherever you're calling from."_

"_I'm at a bar in Saigon," he shouted over the noise, "It was the only place around with a decent phone. You wouldn't believe what I had to do to get here, and no, I'm not alone…. Will's here, he says 'hi'."_

"_Tell him 'hi' back for me."_

* * *

The next morning Maggie walked from the guesthouse to the ranch, intent upon making breakfast for anyone who happened to be up. As soon as she opened the door to the kitchen she was surprised to see her daughter standing by the phone, seemingly preoccupied, with a laundry basket balanced on one hip.

"What? When? What did she die of?" Maggie heard CJ exclaim as she rushed over to her and said softly, "Here, let me get that for you."

"Okay, Fred. Thanks for calling. I'll talk to you later," she said just before hanging up the phone.

CJ barely noticed as her mother eased the basket off her hip – she was too engrossed with her phone conversation and how she was going to break the news to her sons. Funny, that it now made sense why Samantha wanted to see her sons so badly a few weeks ago. She was dying, and coincidentally of the same illness CJ's father died of.

"So, I see you're back a little early from your honeymoon. Is everything okay?"

CJ didn't want to answer her question - it might distract her from the conversation she wanted to have regarding Jolie. If only she could talk to her mother as easily as talking with Matt!

"CJ?" she asked again, searching her face for clues.

"I see you've been keeping my house crystal clean while we were gone."

"Well, you know, I like to be busy, and I like being able to help you, especially now."

"You know, you should be taking care of yourself, too. I know what it's like to recover from a serious gunshot wound. It takes time, and you've gotta to pace yourself, take it easy."

She sighed, thinking back to the times Matt would call when CJ was wounded.

"I'm fine, CJ. Really. And I much rather take care of you during this special time of your life," she said, trying to decrease the stress she saw in her daughter's eyes, "CJ, is something wrong?" she asked, glancing towards the phone.

CJ took a deep breath and nodded, "That was Fred. He called to tell me that Samantha Mackenzie Pentin or whatever the hell her last name is died in prison yesterday."

"Oh my! Are you gonna tell the boys?"

"I should be the one to break it to them, shouldn't I, before they hear it on the news or from anywhere else? The question is how to tell them. Not sure a simple phone call would suffice."

Still trying to be pleasant and supportive, Maggie agreed.

"No, probably not, at least as far as Johnny is concerned. You said he was the one out of the two that actually had memories of her."

"Yes. And I know I shouldn't stall or wait to tell them. They have a right to know as soon as possible," she stated with a direct stare at Maggie, hoping she would get the hint. "Not good to keep secrets from grown children."

Maggie was sensing the hidden meaning in CJ's words, but she skirted the issue.

"Well, I don't think you should tell them alone. Matt would do it with you, wouldn't he?"

"Oh, I'm sure he would."

"Good, cause I wouldn't want to see you more stressed than you need to be," she reciprocated with an intense stare equal to one CJ had given seconds ago.

But, CJ wasn't backing down. She had an agenda to get to the truth and with that line, saw an invitation to question her mother.

"Mother, if you were so concerned about me being stressed why didn't you call us and tell us about the trouble Jolie was in, huh?"

Oh crap, Maggie thought, she found out before she had a chance to tell her?! She had to think fast so as to not upset her further.

"Because I didn't think there was anything that we did that you wouldn't have done. You and Matt waited such a long time to be married – I didn't feel it was necessary to disturb you. And, I was planning on telling you the minute you got back."

Maggie thought she was safe with that caring explanation, but as she watched CJ's face, she didn't see any relief.

"Mother, she got into another fight at school yesterday. This time the other girl has a broken jaw and Jolie has a broken nose!"

"What?!"

"Haven't you kept enough secrets from me in my life? How am I supposed to trust you when you keep doing these kinds of things?"

She fired right back, "The only reason I have ever kept secrets from you is when I know the truth is too painful. I've always wanted to protect you … even now."

"_Secrets_, as in plural? You have something else to share with me, Mother?"

Damn, she said too much, Maggie thought. She had refrain from letting her emotions get to her before she let on there were more secrets than CJ knew about already.

"Mother, Samantha died of pancreatic cancer … just like Dad. Was she my sister, too, huh?" she asked boldly, hoping to shock her into revealing some information.

Maggie widened her eyes at her daughter's sharp words at the same time thought, oh my God, did my husband cheat on me? Is that why Johnny and Jordan always reminded her so much of him?

"Well?" CJ pleaded.

Maggie started thinking that diving into this topic would be better than delving the harmful secret she locked away inside her for years.

"I don't have any way of knowing that CJ, but I won't lie to you. It could be a possibility," she said calmly, even though her heart was beating a mile a minute.

"A possibility? Mother, if Samantha was my sister, too, than Johnny and Jordan are my nephews!"

"I know. Like I've told you before, your father was in love with Emily Martin before we married. I guess it's possible that he cheated on me after we married. It's not like we had the perfect marriage."

She said it so matter-of-factly that CJ's ire commenced. How could her mother be so cold and detached about something so personally earth shattering? How direct was she going have to be to so that her mother would show some emotion?

"You're unbelievable, Mom. Okay, enough with the secrets already! Don't I, your only child, rate high enough to deserve the truth? Oh, wait, am I really your only child? You don't have any other offspring running around out there that I don't know about, do you? Seeing's that there's so much dishonesty amongst my family tree!"

"CJ!" Maggie exclaimed, then immediately retreated, trying to get a grip on the unsteady rhythm now present in her heart. She knew that CJ was pushing her buttons, but she had to stay strong. She just had to! Her daughter was too stressed as it was, not to mention her own self.

Seemingly at a standstill, CJ walked out of the room a few feet to collect herself. She didn't want to be this emotional in order for her mother to be honest with her. She stopped, turned, took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Mom, please. I'm a big girl. I want to know everything. I need to know everything," she said calmly.

But, Maggie didn't say a word. Waiting for a response, CJ opened her eyes, and when she looked up she saw the color in Maggie turn a pale grey as she gripped her chest.

"Mom?" she asked in tone that bore a striking resemblance to a cry.

That was the last thing Maggie heard before everything went black.


	7. Chapter 7

**Longing for Spring – 7**

"Okay, Jolie. You ready?" he asked her as they sat in the car a minute.

She nodded quietly and watched him gather his phone and keys.

"Ah, Dad … "

"Yes?" he answered, wondering if this was one of those spontaneous special father-daughter moments where she'd say how much she loved him or appreciated his patience with her as she was going through this difficult time in her life.

"Cell phone's don't work in the school. Too many concrete walls or something that disengages their capabilities."

He sighed. It wasn't one of those moments. "Is that so?"

"Uh huh."

"Well fine, then. I'll just leave it here."

Jolie, as any teenager would, was feeling more than slightly embarrassed to have her father escort her to school to see the principal. It didn't help that her nose was in a splint and she was feeling like a cross between Porky the Pig and Hannibal Lechter. She couldn't think of any possible outcome that would be positive from this experience. Adding to the trauma were her fellow students (and teachers) oohing and aahing at his presence. So much for her and her nose being the focus of attention! In his mid-forties, between his looks and his stature, Matt Houston still turned quite a few heads.

"Hey, isn't that the famous detective, that Houston guy?" she heard one student say.

"Yeah, that's Jolie's father," said another.

"That's Jolie's father?! Hey, Jolie, I didn't know that Matt Houston was your father?"

Welcome to the recently established club, she thought to herself.

"Wow, he's really handsome!" another commented as they made their to the principal's office.

Yeah, he's okay, Jolie thought, now beyond embarrassed. Matt smiled at her as she forced a grin, acknowledging their observations as best she could with her injured face.

"Hello," Matt greeted the secretary, "I'm Matt Houston. My daughter and I have an appointment to see Mr. McFarland."

The secretary's eyes lit up, "Ah … ah… of course you are," she stammered while she began nervously primping. "I'll ah … I'll tell him you're here."

Jolie bit her lip, trying in vain to hide a chuckle, which was quickly eradicated when Matt nudged his arm against hers.

"Ah, Mr. Houston? Hello, won't you come in?" the principal said rather pleasantly.

Jolie wondered what was up. This was Mr. McFarland, you know, one of _them. _Why was he smiling, too? Wait, don't say it, was he was enamored by her father's good looks, too?

"Thank you for arranging time to speak with us, sir."

"Well, under the circumstances, I feel it's the least I could do. It was a very difficult decision to suspend Jolie for the second time, given all the extenuating circumstances that your daughter's been through of late. Her teachers have spoken highly of her, says she's one of the most likeable and inquisitive students they have."

"That's my girl!" Matt said quietly, winking at Jolie. "And please understand that the reason I'm here, is not to debate her punishment. Her mother and I just want to make sure it doesn't happen again."

You're not? Dang it! Jolie fumed silently.

"Okay, then what can we do to help?"

"Well, do you have some program in place that lets kids work out their differences in a peaceful, constructive manner?"

"We do, in fact, I've already talked to her guidance counselor about setting up a time with her and Emily the day before they both are due to return to school. We call it remediation."

"And if remediation doesn't work?"

"Than all we can do is to keep the two of them apart best we can until they can resolve their differences peacefully. Otherwise, if it happens again, they will both face expulsion."

"Expulsion? Emily Preston was verbally taunting and mocking my daughter. She's a bully. The second time it happened, Jolie wasn't provoking the fight at all, she was just defending herself!"

Jolie straightened her posture, listening intently as she heard her father coming to her rescue.

"Ah, I'm sorry, Mr. Houston, but we do have our rules."

"Rules?" Matt exclaimed. "We're talking about my daughter's safety and welfare!"

"Ah, please understand my predicament, Mr. Houston. Emily's father is a politician whose has been very active in our school community. He was widowed years ago and raised his daughter practically by himself. He's getting married in a couple of weeks and Emily is having a hard time adjusting."

Matt and Jolie rolled their eyes and rubbed their thumbs along their jaws at the same time, displaying their frustration and obvious shared genes. Emily's situation hardly impressed the father who just months ago had to rescue his daughter from the hands of a psychopath. Jolie wondered if Emily would have faired as well as her riding in a helicopter blindfolded or hiding out in the woods by herself. "Well, excuse me for saying this but what's that got to do with anything?" Matt asked in an disgruntled tone.

"Well, Mr. Houston if we single Emily out we'd be going against our code of conduct, and it would look like we're playing favorites."

Matt didn't seem to be getting anywhere with the principal and suddenly had a déjà vu moment, thinking back to a time his father was in a similar situation.

"You know, I was really hoping it wouldn't come to this, but there are other private schools that would gladly enroll my daughter if you can't give her the safe and nourishing learning environment that she needs!"

Jolie tried to hide a smile while thinking, go, Dad, go get 'em!

"Mr. Houston I …" the principal started to reply defensively when his secretary suddenly interrupted, "Ah, excuse me, Mr. Houston, your uncle called. He's been trying to reach you. Something about an emergency with your wife at the hospital."

Those were three words Matt never liked hearing together: wife, emergency, hospital. He immediately thought the worst as he bid a hasty farewell, grabbed Jolie's hand, and rushed to his car.

* * *

_After listening from the hall for several minutes, Bill and Maggie heard CJ hang up the phone. _

"_She didn't know she was pregnant, Bill," Maggie commented softly._

"_It certainly seems that way."_

"_I'm not going to tell her. I really think it's for the best."_

"_You're her mother. If you decide once and for all that you won't tell her, then I won't say anything to her either … or Matt."_

_With that plan, they adjusted their somber expressions and walked back into her room with smiles planted on their faces._

"_Hi CJ. Was that Matt on the phone?"_

"_Yes," she beamed back at them. _

"_That was nice of him to call you."_

"_Must have gone to great lengths to do so," Bill said._

"_Uh huh," she nodded, thinking about all that until her mood drastically changed._

"_What is it, CJ?"_

_She turned away as tears started in her eyes._

"_CJ?"_

"_I really miss him! I can't believe it'll be the Spring before I see him again. I'm so worried about him. I don't know what I'd ever do if something happens to him!"_

_Maggie tried to comfort her daughter._

"_CJ, you have your education to concentrate on until then, not to mention your friends. You'll be quite busy. The time will fly quickly."_

"_Not recovering from this damn accident it won't!"_

_Maggie paused, not knowing what else to say. Bringing some solace to her daughter in her time of need by saying all the write words at the right time wasn't her forte. She looked at Bill, hoping he could do it for her. He nodded and motioned for Maggie to leave the room so that he could talk to CJ alone._

_He pulled up a chair along side her bed and sat down._

"_You know, CJ. I've watched Matt grow up and I think I know him pretty well."_

_She looked at him inquisitively._

"_He's not the kind of guy that sits around and waits for things to happen. He's a man of action, of purpose."_

_She nodded._

"_He wouldn't want to hear that you've been sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. Don't stress about this little episode. You'll be able to make up the time. It won't affect your reputation, in fact, it'll probably add to your credibility that you were able to do so well in school despite having a rough start. And, don't worry about Matt. If there something else I know about my son, he wouldn't want to hear that you've been spending your down time sitting around pining for him. Go out with your friends, even other guys if you want, CJ. Have fun."_

_CJ looked up at him a little shocked that he would suggest that._

"_Matt's a guy, CJ. He's young, has his whole life ahead of him. He's not ready to settle down and I have a feeling you're not either. You're gonna be one hell of a lawyer, I can tell. But, Matt, I think he still has some growing up to do. He's not as sure of his life like you are, CJ."_

_CJ was surprised that Bill was saying all this about his own son. She wondered if he knew something that she didn't._

"_Has Matt said anything to you about … about dating other women?"_

_Bill was quick to respond, "Oh, no, it's nothing like that. It's just like I said, while you're apart maybe you should date other guys, you know, casually. Take this opportunity to see what else is out there while you're getting your career situated, make connections. Not good to get serious in a relationship while you're in college anyway."_

_While Bill said all this he prayed that CJ wouldn't look too far into his reasons. Either way, it was sound advice._

* * *

Even though Jolie called Roy on their way to the hospital and got all the details, Matt still couldn't wait to see his wife. As much as it was a relief that CJ wasn't the one with the emergency, he was still worried about her.

As soon as they arrived they anxiously searched for her. When they rounded the corner to the waiting room, they found her with her arms crossed, pacing back and forth. Matt immediately rushed over to her and took hold of her arms.

"CJ!" he exclaimed gently, noticing her overtaxed state of emotion. "Are you alright?"

She nodded unconvincingly.

"How bad is it?"

"They said she'll need a quadruple bypass," she managed to say in between tears. "They're gonna prep her for surgery within the hour."

He pulled her close for a comforting embrace while a nurse entered the waiting room looking for Matt.

"Excuse me, Mr. Houston. Mrs. Parsons is asking to speak with you."

This statement surprised CJ.

"She doesn't want to see me? I'm her daughter."

"No, she specifically asked to see her son-in-law … alone."

Matt and CJ looked at one another, curious as to why she would make such a request.

"Go ahead," she urged him, all the time wondering why Maggie wanted to see him alone. Maybe she wanted to give him a speech like if anything happens to her, please take good care of her daughter and her grandchildren?

He entered her room and softly sat down in the chair next to her bed. She seemed to be sleeping, but turned her face towards him as soon as she felt his hand touch hers.

"Maggie? You wanted to see me?"

She swallowed hard and took a breath with the help of her oxygen tube.

"Mattlock, I'm so glad you're here," she labored. "I have something I need to tell you."


	8. Chapter 8

**Longing for Spring – 8**

(Really having fun with this story! Hope you enjoy, too, and thanks for the reviews!)

* * *

CJ hated waiting, especially in a hospital … concerned about a loved one. It seemed she had been through this so many times in her life. Surely by now she'd have some expertise on how to get through it without going stir crazy? When she was married to Gary he used to help her out by sitting with her and singing silly songs. Her late boyfriend Carl used to tell jokes while trying to involve her in a discussion about a famous law case, humorously replacing the defense and prosecution with cartoon characters. She hadn't thought about Carl in awhile, probably because she had been so busy lately. She found herself smiling, remembering his humor and the day she met first him.

_The young man approached her table with an air of confidence._

"_Excuse me, is this seat taken?"_

_CJ lifted her head to see an athletic-looking man, wearing short, blonde hair and matching mustache. The way he was dressed – casually, in jeans and a college sweatshirt, she couldn't tell if he was a fellow student or someone, possibly from the military, visiting the local hangout. Either way, he was handsome and seemed harmless._

"_Ah, no."_

"_Hi, my name's Carl Strom. I believe you're in Gasberger's class with me."_

"_Oh, yes. Now I remember. You're the one who kept asking him questions about the Adams v. Williams case."_

"_I'm trying to perfect the art of gentle provoking."_

"_Well, I'd say you're well on your way!" she laughed. "Why don't you have a seat?"_

"_Thank you. And you are Ms. Parsons, I believe. Sorry, I don't know your first name."_

"_Ah, it's CJ."_

"_CJ. Okay, nice to meet you."_

"_Nice to meet you, too."_

"_I see you've had your nose buried in that book. If I didn't know better, I'd say you're trying to keep guys like me away."_

_She laughed. "My boyfriend said more or less the same thing to me!"_

_His smile vanished._

"_Uh oh. Just my luck. Boyfriend, huh?"_

"_Yep. And he's pretty protective."_

_She watched his face turn sour and felt bad. She was doing it again – pushing guys away. She heard her conscious scold her and quickly regrouped, "But, he's in 'Nam so your safe at the moment."_

"'_Nam, huh?" he responded, his mood perking up._

"_Uh huh."_

"_I just got back from 'Nam a month ago. There was a guy we used to joke about in the next squad who had a girlfriend named CJ. Used to talk about her night and day."_

_Their eyes and mouths widened._

"_Houston?!" they both said at the same time,_

_She smiled broadly, "That's the one!"_

"_And he has a cousin … ah Will I think."_

"_Yep! What a coincidence!"_

"_Yeah, it's a small world, isn't it?"_

_He looked over her features suggestively as she took a sip of her iced tea._

"_Now I know why he talked about you so much. You're gorgeous."_

_She blushed, closed her book, and set it down on the table so she could give her full attention to nice man._

* * *

"What is it, Maggie?" Matt asked gently.

"Mattlock, I'm worried about …"

He touched her hand and smiled, "It'll be okay, Maggie. This is an excellent hospital. You're in good hands."

She labored some more, trying to take a deep breath.

"No, I mean … I'm worried about CJ."

"She's doing fine. She's out in the waiting room with Jolie."

"No, I … " Maggie paused, struggling again.

"Look, Maggie, she's a tough cookie, just like her mother, and I promise to take extra good care of her these next six months, Jolie and the baby, too. So don't worry about thing."

She sighed inwardly, realizing that this confession was going to be physically as well emotionally arduous.

"No, it's … she's a much higher risk than you think."

His look intensified.

"What are you talking about?"

"Her first pregnancy… it didn't go well."

He looked at her confused.

"Yes, it did. She told me that she had no problems what so ever with Jolie … that everything went along as smooth as silk. She carried her full term and delivered her naturally without any complications. I was there afterwards - I know. I saw her and Jolie within hours after the birth."

This news was only a small comfort to Maggie. She was finding it so hard to find the words… the right words to tell something so sensitive without causing Matt to become too angry with her. It didn't help that it also hurt to breathe.

"No it didn't. Jolie wasn't her first pregnancy. It was her second."

There she said it, and watched as Matt's eyes widened, "What are you talking about? he asked, his voice deepening seriously in tone.

"CJ was pregnant when she was about 21 … shortly after you went off to 'Nam … when she started at Harvard."

"What?" he asked again, hoping he heard wrong.

"They had to terminate the pregnancy in order to save her from internal injuries ... to stop the bleeding."

Maggie watched the expression on his face change dramatically. And then she waited for his next words.

Matt started to recall the conversation with CJ around the same time he had been so ill in 'Nam, and how good it was to hear her voice, even though she had been injured. It was only about six weeks after that day in his father's house when he and CJ fell in love ... for the first time, and they celebrated that discovery. That must have been it - he must have gotten her pregnant then. But, if he was the father, then why didn't CJ ever tell him?

"She never told me," he said with a controlled and angry tone.

Maggie quickly responded, "She didn't know – still doesn't. It was very early in her pregnancy and the doctors discovered it while she was unconscious. They asked me for permission to terminate it in order to save her life. Your father was there and knew about it, too. He supported my decision and assured me that he wouldn't say anything to either one if you."

Matt ran his hand through his hair.

"Why?" Matt asked, with anger more present in his voice. "Why did you keep this secret from her – from both of us?!"

"Because at the time CJ was so upset about missing three weeks of school, not to mention being heart sick for you. I didn't want to burden her with more bad news. It was a very serious injury and I really thought it would be better if she didn't know. I always planned on telling her if she became pregnant again. I never got the chance when she was carrying Jolie … and thank God she was fine."

"You've had plenty of time to tell her since ..." he started to say until the nurse looked over Matt, as he was finding it difficult to keep his voice down. "You've had plenty of opportunities!"

"I don't know what to say except that the more time lapsed, the more reluctant I was to tell her. I guess I was afraid of what revealing the secret would do to our already fragile relationship. CJ was never as close with me as she was with her father. But, now that she's pregnant again, at her age, well, I just wanted you to know in case I don't make it."

He fumed, and found it difficult to control his volume.

"I wish you or my father had told me!"

"And if we had told you, what could you have done about it, huh?"

So many emotions washed over Matt, including distrust, that CJ's instincts about including her mother in her life were right all along, and that maybe Maggie secretly desired to keep him and CJ apart. And now Maggie wanted him to tell her the news? How convenient – if she died on the operating table, she would never have to face CJ's wrath.

"Okay, it's time for you to leave," said the nurse.

Matt stood up and moved away, still looking at Maggie so incredulously.

"Tell CJ and Jolie that I love them."

"You really ought to tell them yourself, just like you should have told this to CJ – a long time ago," he said as the orderly started folding up the side rails of her bed.

She shook her head, "No, you tell them for me, and take special care of CJ. I won't rest knowing that something I did caused CJ to lose another baby. And, Mattlock?"

"Yes?"

"My lawyer has a copy of my will. The rest of my papers are back at my house in Houston."

Matt watched her leave as he felt rage overcome him.

* * *

Now pacing, CJ was just about at her wit's end waiting for Matt. She couldn't stop thinking about the argument she was having with Maggie, and how the confrontation seemed to be the catalyst for bringing her heart attack on. But, she knew regretful thinking wasn't very productive. Maybe she could do something constructive, like talk to her daughter whose issue was the reason for the discussion in the first place.

"By the way, Jolie. How did the meeting go with the principal?" she asked as she took a seat next to her.

"Well, he said that me and Emily have to have a meeting with the counselor before we come back. Something called remediation."

"Okay, that sounds like a good thing."

"I guess. But, the principal said that if we get into another fight, we might both get expelled."

"Expelled?"

"Yeah. Houston, I mean Dad, thought that it was too harsh of a punishment for me since Emily was the one who started it. But, Mr. McFarland said that she's been going through a rough time 'cause her dad, who's happens to be a politician, raised her by himself and he's marrying some lady soon. He said Emily's having a hard time adjusting."

"She's having a hard time adjusting? What about what you've been through?"

Jolie laughed, "That's what Dad said. That's why he threatened to enroll me in another school."

"He did, huh?" said CJ smiling proudly.

"Yep, he did."

"What did the principal say to that?"

"He didn't get a chance to respond 'cause that's when we got the message about you being at the hospital. Dad was real worried so we left right away."

CJ smiled to that, knowing how much Matt always worried about her, even when they weren't romantically involved or when he was married to old frizz face.

Wait a minute - frizz face. CJ had a flash.

"Jolie, did you say that Emily's father is a politician who's getting married soon?"

"Yeah, that's what the principal said. Why?"

"Did he say who the woman is?"

"No. Why?"

Jolie locked eyes with her mother and suddenly felt the telepathic powers that her parents shared empower her.

"Wait a minute, you don't think… it couldn't be …"

They looked at each other wide-eyed.

"Elizabeth," they both verbalized at the same time. The woman who just wouldn't go away


	9. Chapter 9

**Longing for Spring – 9**

To say that the conversation with Maggie left Matt with a lot to think about would be a gross understatement. In just a few minutes he went from being a happy, almost care-free newlywed and father-to-be, to a man who felt a part of his life had been a lie – a feeling he hadn't felt since he discovered he was adopted. For not only had he fathered another child with CJ, he had lost one, too. He could only imagine how painful that experience would have been if he and CJ had known and lived through it at the time.

Over 25 years had past since then and now he was consumed with the "what if's". What if CJ hadn't gone to that homecoming game and been injured and instead, discovered she was pregnant while at Harvard? Would she have continued her studies and still become a lawyer? Would she have told him? He'd like to think that she would have, but she did keep Jolie from him for a few years. Their lives might have been completely different if she had carried the baby to term. He would have come home from the war, done the right thing and married her, and raised their child together. He might have never become a private investigator and probably stayed at the business end of Houston Industries. They might have never solved dozens of murders and kidnappings, endured being shot at, kidnapped themselves and don't forget mentally tortured. They might have never spent the past thirteen years apart.

But, damn! Why did Maggie have to burden him with this issue now? Him and CJ were finally married after years of having their relationship interrupted. If she only wanted good things for their marriage, why did she have to reveal her secret to him now?! But, could he really be only angry with Maggie for keeping such a secret? If he directed all of the anger towards Maggie, then he should also include his beloved daddy, for he knew for many years and never said anything to him either. Even on his deathbed, Bill Houston didn't reveal his secret. _"Matt, relax. I'm not going to check out yet. Besides, I'm waiting for my first grandchild. You're not helping me much there."_

Ah! But, as he searched his feelings he found that he was also angry with himself. Why did he encourage CJ to reconnect with her mother in the first place? If he hadn't flown to Houston with Jolie last summer, and then had Maggie follow up with a surprise visit to CJ, Maggie may have never gotten involved in their lives. Jolie might have never been kidnapped and Maggie may have never revealed her secret to anybody.

Going even further back he could also fault himself for getting CJ pregnant in the first place. How could he have been so careless with his best friend? Was he so in love, so turned on that he lost all sense of responsibility? If he had perished in 'Nam he could have left CJ with a child to raise alone.

Well, blame and regret wasn't going to get him anywhere, much less quell his emotions. He knew that intellectually, but still had a difficult time getting past all the hurt and anger. He had to figure out the big question of whether or not he would tell CJ. Would it depend on whether or not Maggie made it through surgery? Maggie should be one to tell her, since it was her secret to reveal, especially if CJ had questions about her surgery. She was there at the time and the one the surgeon spoke to. If Matt told her it would be second-hand information. But, maybe the news would sound better coming from him? He had experience in breaking devastating news to her and it might give CJ the chance to deal with it before confronting her mother – a scene that would be very stressful for both women. Or he could tell her doctor, and see what she'd advise. Maybe she would suggest to not share the news, that CJ had been through enough drama of late? He would be off the hook, so to speak, and tell CJ afterwards, after she delivered their third child safely.

But, Matt and CJ vowed to never keep secrets from one another ever again. The past was certainly proof that it was too painful, and all over just a bad idea.

He walked out into the waiting room where Jolie and CJ sat waiting for him, and looked at them fondly, especially the woman whose slight belly bulge reminded him of how she might have looked when she carried Jolie and earlier, if she had she carried their first child full-term. Seeing her in this light also made him wonder what he would have done if he had entertained the possibility of pregnancy before he left for 'Nam… oh, face it, he wasn't sure what he'd have done. Times were different back then. When he left for the war his future seemed bright. He was young and optimistic, and unaware of the kind of hardships he'd have to witness and endure. And then when he came back home without Will, well everything changed. His relationship with CJ suffered as a result, so maybe, just maybe, it was a good thing that he wasn't in a position to feel obligated to marry her. Still he couldn't help but wonder about the child that never came to be, what they would have looked like, and what they might have grown up to do with their life.

For the interim he decided to play it cool, okay lie, at least until he could make a decision. He had to face CJ soon and the longer he took the more suspicious she would be. He tried to erase all the emotion from his face as he walked back into the waiting room in hopes that she couldn't see right through him.

"Dad's back," Jolie said, prompting CJ to look up and rise to her feet, anticipation present in her eyes.

"Well, what did she say?" she asked.

He shrugged his shoulders, "Nothing really. Just wanted to have a little heart to heart with me, you know a little mother-in-law, son-in-law talk."

As he glanced at Jolie and away from CJ's stare, he prayed that his wife would buy the explanation. Maybe she would think that he didn't want to share anything stressful in front of Jolie?

She took his arm and walked away, out of Jolie's earshot.

"A heart to heart? My mother? Matt, what did she really say to you?"

Oh, crap. Her suspicions were up.

"Nothing important, CJ. She just wanted me to know how glad she is that were finally married and she hopes I'll take good care of you, Jolie, and the baby, especially if something happens to her. Oh, and she told me that her will and other important papers are back at the house in Houston."

"Oh," CJ responded, a little disappointed that she said only technical things.

"Oh, and she told me to tell you and Jolie that she loves you."

She looked at him a little shocked.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"She actually said that?"

"Yes."

"She didn't want to tell me in person?"

"No."

CJ could have found that odd, but this was her mother after all - a woman not known for being warm and fuzzy with her words. The fact that she relayed such a message through Matt at all was a historical.

"I was hoping to see her. I feel bad for arguing with her just before it happened."

Matt was thinking that CJ shouldn't feel bad about anything with regards to her mother.

"What were you two arguing about anyway? Was it Jolie?"

She nodded her head.

"Uh huh, and a few other things."

"Like …"

"Family secrets."

Matt started panicking.

"Family secrets?"

"Yes. I told her I was sick and tired of all the family secrets in my life, that, as her only child, deserved to be treated better."

He looked at her quizzically.

"After you left Fred called this morning. He said that Samantha died in prison yesterday … pancreatic cancer … just like my father. When I pressed my Mom for information, she admitted to me that there's a chance that Samantha, like Julia, was my sister, too."

She watched his face as he processed this new information.

"You're kidding?!"

"No."

"Do the boys know?"

"Not yet. I know it's not good to stall, but I was trying to figure out how and when I was going to tell them such news."

That makes two…

* * *

_Julia watched through the peephole in the door as Carl kissed CJ good night. Just as CJ started for the door, Julia ran as fast as she could to the sofa, landed on it, and grabbed a book._

_As soon as CJ closed the door behind her she stood with one hand on her hip and glared at Julia._

"_Nice try."_

"_Oh, CJ. I didn't hear you come in!"_

"_Yeah, right," she said, walking over to her and turning her book upside right._

"_I know you're smart, Julia, but reading upside down was never one of your talents."_

_Julia made a face, "Well, how else is a girl supposed to get any information on you unless she spies?"_

_CJ sat down as the sofa as Julia sat upright._

"_How about just asking me?"_

"_Hmm. Okay… are you gonna tell Matt about Carl?"_

_CJ glared back at her with a what-do-you-think expression._

"_Stupid question. Okay, are you gonna fly to Texas next month to see him?"_

_CJ slumped back against the sofa, "I do want to see him. I can't believe it's been almost a year."_

_Julia touched her arm, forcing CJ to lock eyes with her._

"_You really miss him, don't you?"_

_CJ paused for a few seconds before Julia's stare melted her. "I sure do."_

"_You still love him, don't you?"_

_CJ paused again, wistfully contemplating that very sentiment, before finally nodding._

"_Uh huh. I don't think I could ever stop loving him."_

"_Hmm. How about Carl? You've been seeing him for, what is it, five months now?"_

_She nodded again as she stood up and started pacing._

"_Never thought I'd find myself in the position of being in love with two men at the same time."_

* * *

Needless to say that statement CJ made about being tired of secrets wore on Matt. For the next few hours he was faced with having to keep his emotions in check if he wanted to hide this gigantic secret from her. But, was that really a good idea? If he didn't share this secret in a timely way, well, did he want CJ mad at him, too? It was going to be a very long wait so they had plenty of time. Revealing this secret would give them something to talk about, especially since Jolie had left with Zoey and they were alone. Perhaps he would feel a lot better if he just told her. He shouldn't underestimate her strength - multiple life experiences proved that she was a pretty tough cookie and they were in a hospital after all. But, he couldn't just blurt it out. He had to ease into it… gradually … gently.

"Ya know, CJ. I remember us being in the same boat, more or less, when my father was going through heart surgery. I'll never forget for as long as I live how you stayed with me that day."

She brushed her hand on his arm, "I wouldn't have been any where else. My best friend needed me, and Bill was special to me, too."

"Yeah?" he responded, pulling her tighter with his arm.

"Uh huh," she said, leaning her head against his shoulder. "Do you know he visited me back when I had that accident, when the bleachers gave way at that game?"

"Yeah?" he responded, pretending to be unaware of that fact, then realizing it was the perfect seque. "About that accident, CJ…"

"Yes?"

He took a deep breath and stared into her eyes, then paused and looked away.

"Matt, was is it?"

She saw the stressed expression on his face and began worrying herself.

"Matt, my mother said something else to you, didn't she?"

He was about to shake his head, but then changed his mind.

"How'd ya guess?"

"I know you, and I know my mother, and you were gone a long time."

He paused again, knowing she was too smart for him. The longer he stalled the dumber he felt.

"CJ," he said, taking her hand. "I have something to tell you that might upset you. So, I want you to promise me that you'll do your best and try to remain calm."

Her heart started beating faster as she waited for his next words. What could it be?

"Matt, what is it?" she asked as he hesitated some more. The more he hesitated - with that look in his eyes – the same look when he's told her bad news in the past – the faster her heart beat.

"Matt, you're scaring me!"

He stroked her hand, "Your mother revealed something to me that she never told you about."

CJ folded her arms and slumped back against the chair.

"Another secret? Hmm. Not surprised."

"Yeah, well this one's a doozy," he half-chuckled.

He definitely had her attention as CJ pessimistically braced herself for another chapter of Maggie's Secrets. After recently learning that Samantha might be her half-sister, did she really think that book had been closed?

"CJ, that day in the hospital, while you were unconscious, the doctor discovered something."

"Yes?"

"They asked your mother for permission so that they could save your life. She didn't think it was necessary to tell you. She was afraid you'd be too upset and it would ruin your recovery."

"What would ruin my recovery?"

He stalled, as CJ grew impatient.

"Houston!"

Okay, here it goes …

"CJ, you were pregnant. They had to terminate it in order to save your life."

Matt watched her for a reaction as CJ processed this news. Without saying a word, she stood up and started pacing, then stopped and placed her hands on her hips and looked up towards the ceiling.

"Oh, this is a really good one, Mom. Pregnant, huh? And, you didn't tell me!" she exclaimed, almost laughing.

"CJ?"

She kept shaking her head.

"Real good timing, Mom. Watch, she'll probably die on the operating table before I have chance to talk to her about this one!"

Matt didn't know what to say as he was too perplexed by CJ's reaction. Maybe she was in shock?

"CJ, honey," he said, rising from his seat and placing his hands on her shoulders. "You okay?"

She thought about some before setting her jaw, "No. I'm mad as hell."

That makes two …


	10. Chapter 10

**Longing for Spring – 10**

After that statement, Matt immediately wondered who CJ was angry with as she kept shaking her head, pacing, as an array of emotions played out on her face. He knew his wife better than anyone, but even he couldn't tell what she was thinking about the shocking news at the moment. He kept studying her body language, watching for a sign that hopefully it was only Maggie, but prepared to defend himself in case her anger was directed towards him: it happened a long time ago, when he was a lot younger, and well, it does take two to make a baby.

But, after several minutes she said nothing and his patience was growing thin. Dare he ask?

"CJ …" he began to say as tears started on her face, showing the disconcerting side of the revelation. The gravity of the news was starting to sink in for this expectant mother with raging hormones and a soft spot for unborn children. He threw his arms around her and embraced her tightly, trying to soothe the mixture of outrage and melancholy feelings, which he mutually felt. He seemed to know exactly what she needed right now, or did he?

After only a few seconds she pushed him away and glared at him.

"What?"

"You knocked me up THREE times!"

She had him there. With the way her eyes were trained on him he felt compelled to hang his head like a little boy being scolded and feel guilty for just about every negative event that had happened to her in her life. He waited a few seconds before lifting his head slightly to take a peek, watching for her expression to change to a more passive one so that he could enter his plea.

"I'm sorry, CJ."

"Sorry? Sorry!" she yelled back him, shaking her head in disappointment. "How many pregnant women have you said that to, huh?"

A smile crept onto his face, "Uh, just you, honey pie."

She set him up for that witty comeback! Of course her eggs were the only one his sperm had ever connected with. Good thing they spent some of the last 26 years apart. If they had been married since 1972 they might have had twenty kids by now!

He touched her arm, but she turned away from his overpowering gaze - those dark brown eyes that could charm even the most ill-tempered polecat out of a tree.

She wanted to be furious, she really did, but could she really harbor such an emotion towards the man who she loved more than anyone … a man she had waited half a lifetime to be married to … a man that she shared a life with, a home? Being angry with him would only bring awkward moments amongst them and other family members later. And anyway, didn't she waste enough precious time and energy in the past being angry with him?

Feeling only slightly defeated, he regrouped and moved in front of her, lifting her chin with his finger.

"CJ …" he said softly.

"What?" she snapped at him assertively, until biting her lip caused her to blush.

He smiled back at her and brought his hands to her face, a face that somehow looked more beautiful to him right now. Perhaps it was the combination of anger, shock and love that was contributing to her already glowing complexion. Either way, she was irresistible to kiss.

His lips felt like a cross between satin and velvet against hers, and she melted … like butter on a hot frying pan. No, it wouldn't do her any good to be angry with her husband, best friend and father of her children. She'd miss out on all the good stuff!

"C'mon. Fertile Myrtle. Lets go get something to eat, huh?" he said upon releasing.

She smiled at his humorous term of endearment for her as she came back down to planet earth. Come to think of it, she was hungry, but just as they were ready to leave, the surgeon walked out into the waiting room looking for her.

"Mrs. Houston?"

"Yes?" she quickly responded as she and Matt retreated a few steps.

"Your mother's one tough cookie."

Sigh. This she knew.

"She made it," she stated flatly.

"Yes."

"Okay," she said, taking a deep breath. "When can I see her?"

She really wanted to talk with her.

"It'll be a while until she's ready for visitors. My advice is that you get something to eat and come back in an hour or so. She should be awake and ready to talk by then."

Matt was thinking that in this particular instance, she might not be as ready for a visit from CJ as the doctor thinks.

* * *

"_Left a good job in the city, working for the man ev'ry night and day. And I never lost one minute of sleeping, worried 'bout the way things might have been."_

"_How much further, Will?" Matt screamed over the noise of the chopper._

"_Why you got a hot date or something?"_

"_No, rock star. I was thinking about Charlie. We're headed right into enemy territory."_

"_Don't you worry' bout a thing, Matt. All we have to do is make the drop and run, easy schmeasy. Big wheel keep on turnin' …"_

_While Will continued singing like he was John Fogerty, Matt tried taking his advice, letting his mind wander to more pleasant thoughts of returning home. The Texas Terrors could see the light at the end of the tunnel now – they had only three weeks to go in their tour of duty. Not only were they lucky to survive it in one piece, but they were able to do it together, and they were well aware of the odds on that. Far too many of their comrades had fallen to the cruelties of the jungle war, leaving many, here and at home, to mourn the loss of a best friend. Matt wasn't sure if he could have done it without his best friend-slash-cousin. He never felt closer to him, and he was sure the same was true for Will. They could practically read each other's minds and sense when the other was in need or danger. _

_Speaking of best friends, Matt couldn't wait to see the other best friend in his life - his female best friend, CJ, in the flesh for the first time in a year. During the past eleven months he tried to forget about missing her with the few females he encountered in Southeast Asia, but now that he was close to returning home, he couldn't think of any woman who could hold a candle next to her. The first thing he was wanted to do was to throw his arms around her and give her the biggest bear hug of her life. He'd lift her up off her feet, swirl her around and set her down, only to embrace her again. Then he would frame her angelic face with his hands and just gaze at her – her velvet lips, her entrancing eyes, her soft hair, her radiant skin, before giving her the longest and most sensual kiss from a man she ever experienced in her life. He'd take time to caress her lips with own, gently at first, and then more hungrily as he sought for a deeper display of his affection. Later, after they both deescalated from that experience, he'd take her on a real date. They'd dress up nice – her in a pretty dress, he in his military suit and tie, and take her to the most expensive restaurant in town. They'd smile and wave as everyone turned their heads to stare at the hero soldier returning from war accompanied by the gorgeous women on his arm. They'd see a movie and afterwards, take a stroll somewhere where they could just hold hands for a while and just be together. They'd spend the entire night together, cuddled up next to each other, becoming refamiliar with each other's bodies, and follow up the next morning by eating breakfast in bed. Later that same day, they would take a picnic lunch and go horseback riding … for hours. After stopping to eat he would lay with her – make love to her, again – right beneath by the tall magnolia tree that stood in the outskirts of the ranch, and pick up right where they left off._

_Little did he know that all of his plans, in a blink of an eye, were about to change. _

"_What the hell was that?"_

"_We've been hit! I think we're landing sooner than we thought. Brace yourself!"_

* * *

With the stressed expression on his wife's face, Matt thought it best to try and distract her while they waited for their entres.

"Have you thought about names for the baby?"

She finished a sip of her water and replied, "No, not really, however, I do know some names to steer clear away from."

Do tell, his eyes seemed to say.

"Truman, Peter, Samantha, and no names starting with the letter 'E'."

"Why's that?"

"Emily Martin, who my mother had disdain for, Jolie's bully Emily, and let's not forget …"

"Ah, I get the picture."

"Jolie told me about your meeting with the principal, by the way."

"Oh?"

"Yes, she told me that you gave him hell when he warned about expelling her."

He nodded proudly, "I did want to resort to such a threat, but I thought it was called for, given the circumstances."

She smiled approvingly.

"I'd say you've got this father thing down pretty good."

"Thank you. I know I'm still relatively new at it, but whenever I have to make a decision regarding Jolie, I just try and remember the way Daddy raised me. He was a good father."

"Very good I'd say."

His expression waned.

"Still puzzles me that he would agree with Maggie… over … over anything."

"Yeah, me too ... but we'll never know what he was thinking, will we?"

"No, and I guess when you get past all the hurt and anger, things probably worked out for the best. Not sure how good of a father I would have been at that point of my life."

"I don't think I'm there yet."

"Which is why I'm worried about you."

She glanced down and patted her abdomen, "Relax. Me and Baby Houston are doing just fine."

"Yeah, I know, it's just that I …"

"Worry? Now I definitely know you have this parenting thing down."

They laughed together as he took her hand and squeezed it.

"Speaking of parents, Jolie told me that Emily's father is a politician who's getting married soon."

"Yeah, so?"

She glared at him until he figured it out.

"Wait, you don't think?"

She made a face, "At first I didn't think that Emily was going through as much as Jolie, but if my father was marrying Elizabeth …"

Now it was Matt's turn to glare at his spouse.

"CJ …"

"But seriously, isn't this another reason that Jolie shouldn't attend this school anymore?'

"Now CJ, she can't run from her problems the rest of her life. She needs to learn how to deal with adversity, with people."

"I know, but does she really have to deal with it now, after all she's been through?"

"Maybe not. I remember my father saying more or less the same thing to a principal when I was a kid."

"See!"

"Yeah, but If I had changed schools, I would have never met the love of my life."

She softened and smiled at him.

"Look, let's just see how the next couple of weeks go. If things get so bad that it's too disruptive to our lives and her well-being, than we'll come up with another idea."

She took another sip of her water.

"Is the part where you say no problem that comes our way is too big to handle, as long we're together?"

He smiled.

"Something like that. Which is why I need to ask you one last time if you're sure about talking to your mother so soon … by yourself."

She thought about it a few seconds before answering him.

"I'll be okay. It's something I need to do."

She watched his face for approval but his expression didn't change.

"Matt …"

He sighed and gave her the best reassuring smile he could come up with at the moment.


	11. Chapter 11

**Longing for Spring – 11**

After dinner Matt and CJ took the long drive through Los Angeles traffic back to the hospital, giving them the opportunity to individually reflect some more on the bombshell that Maggie recently dropped. CJ thought she'd always remember the moment when Matt told her that she was pregnant and lost a baby when she was younger. It ran a close second to the moment so many years ago when she heard the news about Will.

* * *

_Shortly after five in the morning the phone rang in the apartment, breaking the night's restful silence. _

"_Hello?" she answered._

"_CJ?"_

_At first she couldn't place the voice, but as the voice apologized_ _for calling so early_ – _a voice with_ _a deep, gravelly_ _tone and a trace of a western drawl - she knew it 't belong to anyone except Bill Houston. But, why would he be calling her at such an odd time? She immediately thought the worst and gripped the receiver closer to her ear._

"_Bill? What happened?" she nervously asked._

"_Matt and Will were flying medical supplies over enemy territory and they came across some trouble."_

_CJ's heart skipped a beat._

"_Is Matt …?" she nervously asked._

"_He was wounded. Not too bad, but he's coming home a little earlier than expected."_

_She breathed a sigh of relief, "Oh, thank God!"_

_But, then Bill said nothing for a few seconds and his silence disturbed her._

"_Wait a minute, did something else happen?"_

"Yes_," he finally said after a long pause, "It's Will."_

_A nervous chill seemed to come out of nowhere and encompass her entire body. It took her a few seconds to gather her composure and ask further. She could tell Bill was trying to do the same. "Will? What happened?"_

_He struggled to find the words, and even more so to contain his emotions, so he decided to stick with the facts._

"_Matt and Will were flying medical supplies to a platoon just Northwest of Cambodia. They were hit … their plane went down in enemy territory. Another chopper was sent to rescue them but Will was hurt in the crash and he told Matt to go ahead without him. Matt tried to go back for him, but the Vietcong got to Will first. He didn't make it, CJ. Will is dead."_

_She nearly dropped the phone. "No! No! It can't be!" screaming loud enough that she alerted Julia from the next room._

"_I'm afraid so. I know this may be a lot to ask, but if there's anyway you can break free from your studies at Harvard, I have a feeling that Matt would really like to see you. He'll be arriving home around noon tomorrow." The woman who would normally protest missing a second of class was quick to offer, "I'll make travel plans to fly to Houston right away."_

_She hung up the receiver, covered her mouth with her hand and started sobbing just as Julia walked into the room._

"_CJ, my God, what happened?" she asked rushing over to her side._

_But, CJ was so busy frantically searching for the phone book that she didn't answer her at first. Julia thought the worst, "Is it Matt?"_

_Still overcome with emotion, she shook her head a few moments until she could speak coherently._

"_No, it's Will. Will is dead."_

* * *

Upon remembering that she needed to talk to Johnny, CJ immediately used the car phone to call him and leave a message. With everything that had happened in the past 24 hours, she hadn't been able to tell him the news about Samantha. She knew it needed to be sooner rather than later. Recent first hand experience taught her to not delay in telling a grown child something important, no matter how disturbing or upsetting it might be.

She wasn't the only in the car who had been thinking of a child. As soon as she hung up, Matt presented her with a question that had been plaguing his thoughts.

"CJ?"

"Yes…"

"There's something that I've been thinking about, something that I've had on my mind."

"Okay. What is it?"

"If you hadn't gone to that homecoming game, if you hadn't lost the baby, what would you have done? Would you have kept it? Would you have told me?"

The investigator asked good questions and she had to take a moment to think back to how she might have felt to be single and pregnant at twenty-one.

"I'm not sure. Knowing how I young I was … and the times back then … I guess I would have been scared, but I would think that I would have told you and wanted to keep it. I'm not sure what I would have done about my career, though. Being unmarried and pregnant would certainly have been challenging, even more so in the conservative world of Harvard Law School. I might have continued until I started showing, then took a break for a few months. I think Julia and your daddy would have helped me out, but my mother … oh, she would definitely have had a few things to say about it, none of them good I'm sure."

"Maybe that's why she never liked me."

She laughed, "Sometimes I don't think she even likes me."

Matt daydreamed some more, thinking of how that conversation would have gone. CJ would have written to him and said she needed to talk to him. He'd find a phone so that she could tell him and hear his reaction first-hand. He'd be in shock for a while, that's for sure, and then considerately tell CJ not to worry about a thing, that he'd do the right thing and take care of her and the baby as soon as he returned home. In the meantime, if she needed anything at all she could lean on Daddy, or Cattle Annie. The day he'd arrive, she'd be standing at the airport with the baby in her arms and a smile planted on her face. He'd beam back at them as he disembarked and walked toward them. They'd both cry happy tears as he scooped the baby up in his arms and give CJ an emotional hug and a breath-taking kiss. He might have gotten down on one knee and proposed marriage right then and there. Soon after afterwards they would have found a little chapel where they could get married quietly, and then start their life together as a family. Maybe they would have moved to Boston so that CJ could have finished her studies at Harvard while Matt worked at one of his Daddy's conglomerates.

But, that's not how things happened at all.

* * *

_It was shear torture sitting in a plane for twelve hours. Being a taller than average man, Matt was convinced that commercial airplane seats were not meant for people over six feet in height. Add to that the plethora of injuries – both mental and physical - that he was trying to recover from. _

_He kept hearing Will's voice over and over in his head, especially his last words. "Just save yourself. That's an order, Matt!" He tried to block it out of his mind, especially the part about promising to be back for him, but it kept rushing back like a bad dream. He should have never listened to him!_

_And then the voice of his superiors who grilled him on the tragic events of Will's last seconds on Earth,_"_What happened out there?" they asked, wanting as many details as possible. Matt gave them choppy accounts at first, becoming quite agitated as he recounted the worst day of his life, and eventually finished by barking back at them, "Why didn't you send in more manpower, more guns when we radioed you for help? Why did you put is in the position of being at Charlie's mercy? My cousin might be alive today if you had given us the supplies and the manpower we needed!"_

_Matt hated the feeling of being a subordinate to so-called superiors. He didn't know what his future would be, yet he knew the military was not the career choice for him. He wanted to be in a profession where he could be the one to make important decisions when people's lives were on the line. The notion didn't intimidate him one bit because he always trusted his gut – it never let him down. When he disobeyed it, though, tragedy struck. He made a vow to himself to never let authority or red tape stand in the way of him saving someone's life ever again._

_As if his mental aguish wasn't enough, he had more than a few cuts and scrapes to remind him of the experience, too. His entire right leg was bruised and achy from landing on it forcefully after being thrown thirty feet in the air. He also had large cut and contusion on his right temple and a sling around his right arm, which harbored a broken elbow. When the nurses and medics treated his injuries, he barely reacted to the pain of having his wounds cleaned and dressed – it all seemed inconsequential to having a dead cousin. After all, things were not supposed to happen this way! He should have perished, not Will! Will was a good guy, a real good guy. Always respectful, smart, and well-liked, Will was the one who kept the Texas Terrors out of trouble, the one who kept Matt grounded when he wanted to follow some crazy, spontaneous notion of his; the one he turned to for just about everything in life that he needed to share with a friend. Who would he turn to now?_

_The plane came in for a landing at Houston Intercontinental and Matt watched stoically from his window seat until it stopped completely. He should be happy that he was home, but he wasn't. Will was never coming home, and there wasn't anything that would change that. _

_Limping a bit, he disembarked to where his father and Cattle Annie, the closest thing he ever had to a mother, stood waiting to greet him. Over in another corner of the terminal were a crowd of protesters, and as soon as they saw him in his military uniform, showered him with an onslaught of negative boos and jeers._

"_Hey, soldier, how many kids did you kill while you were over there?" one of them shouted._

"_You know what they say, eighteen today, dead tomorrow," said another._

_Oh, if only they knew how much that latter one really stung!_

_Seeing that his son was disturbed by their words, Bill offered his advice._

"_Try not to listen to them, Matt. They obviously don't have better things to do."_

_Cattle Annie chimed in as well, "Just keep walking and don't acknowledge them. They don't know what you've been through."_

"_No, they don't… no they don't," Matt mumbled to himself as Bill placed his hand on his son's back and pushed their way through the crowd until a limo met them and sped them back to the Houston mansion._

_Matt didn't say a word throughout the entire ride, but just stared out the window, passively taking in the sights of his hometown. He wondered how the same scene was playing in Arizona and how Uncle Roy and Aunt Flo were dealing with the fact that their son wasn't coming off any plane – not even in a body bag. With all their pain they should have at least have something to bury._

"_The house is pretty much the same as when you left son. Mrs. Gutierrez made some lunch if you …"  
But, Matt looked away as soon as he climbed out of the car, seemingly disinterested and stared towards the Parsons' house instead._

_Bill smiled encouragingly, "She should be arriving a little later tonight." _

_Slightly stunned that his father was reading his thoughts, Matt turned to him and displayed the first sign of light in his eyes._

_Bill could tell that Matt was a different person than when he left a year ago and wondered if he'd ever see the spark return to his trademark charm. In fact, there was so much pain in Matt's eyes that even Bill, known widely for his timely and sage advice, didn't know what to say except the obvious, "Matt, for what it's worth … I'm real glad you're home."_

_Matt attempted a smile, knowing that his father spoke from the heart. After all, he was in pain, too. "Thanks, Daddy."_

_Bill nodded and watched as Matt grabbed a six-pack from the refrigerator and walked out to the barn._

* * *

The phone rang, breaking both of their thoughts. CJ was quick to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Ah, Mrs. Houston?"

"Yes?"

"It's Nurse Carol from the hospital. Dr. Zahn wanted me to let you know that your mother isn't quite ready for visitors yet. She's still a bit groggy from the anesthesia. Might be better if you wait until morning to see her."

CJ sighed, "Okay, thank you doctor. I'll be there first thing tomorrow morning then."

Matt waited until she clicked off the phone before asking, "Everything okay?"

"Uh huh. It's just that Mom's not ready for company yet. Looks like I'll have to wait 'til morning to say what I want to say."

Matt touched her hand sympathetically and turned the car towards home.


	12. Chapter 12

**Longing for Spring – 12**

A few minutes later Johnny came to the ranch looking for CJ. That message she left in his voicemail left him curious as well as provided him an opening to share some news with her in person. News he would have loved to tell his father, but obviously couldn't since his natural mother did him in a few months ago. As he knocked he announced his arrival and opened the kitchen door to find his little sister rushing towards it, wide-eyed, with a splint on her face.

"Johnny!" she exclaimed, embracing him.

"Hey squirt," he said chuckling a little, "What the heck happened to you?"

"Got into a fight at school."

"You're kidding?"

"Nope."

"Well, I hope the other guy looks worse than you do."

She nodded proudly, "Yep… much worse: broken jaw."

"Ouch! Is Mom around?"

"No. She and Houston are at the hospital with Grandma Maggie."

"Maggie? Why, what happened?"

"She had a heart attack and is having surgery."

"Geez. First she was shot then this. I hope she's all right. I guess that's why Mom called me a few minutes ago," he said, glancing down at his phone. "Oh, well. I don't suppose you mind me waiting until they get home?"

She beamed, "Mind?! Of course not. Aunt Zoey, Uncle Roy and I were just playing scrabble. Wanna play?"

"Sure, I'll play."

Jolie took his hand and walked him proudly into the living room, "Hey, look who's here!"

"John!"

"Hi Aunt Zoey, Uncle Roy … you're looking well."

"So are you."

"How goes the Peace Corps?"

He stammered, "Ah, well it's okay."

"You know I've missed you… Jordan, too," Jolie said once they sat down on the living room sofa. "Have you heard from him lately?"

"Oh, yeah. In fact he …." and then stopped midsentence upon hearing a car pull up outside.

"Oh, wait. I think that's them."

As soon as Matt and CJ climbed out of the car they recognized Johnny's car. Though weary from the long day, CJ's eyes lit up with excitement: one of her children was visiting. Matt couldn't help but notice the 180 degree turn in her mood. There didn't seem to bring CJ any greater joy that having her kids around, especially the son who was looking more and more like Gary everyday.

"Johnny?" she called as she came into kitchen, searching for him.

He rose from his seat on the sofa and rushed towards the kitchen with Jolie following close behind.

"Hi Mom," he said as they embraced. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, just fine. Surprised to see you here..."

"Jolie said Maggie's had a heart attack? Is it bad?"

She nodded, "She had a quadruple by-pass."

Jolie's eyes lit up, "Did she make it through surgery?"

Matt nodded, "Yes, but we haven't had a chance to talk to her yet. She's taking a while to come around."

Johnny shook his head as he walked towards the kitchen table to have a seat. It always seemed like someone in this family was in the hospital.

"I take it you got my message. Is that why you're here?" CJ asked.

He nodded, "Partially. But, there's something I wanted to tell you, Mom."

Noting the seriousness in his tone of voice, CJ and Matt motioned for Jolie to leave the room and then sat down with him.

"I wanted to let you know that I've made an important decision regarding my future."

He had their full attention and waited on bated breath for his next sentence.

"I've left the Peace Corps and decided to enroll in college."

Relieved, CJ widened her eyes, "You did? Well, that sounds great, Johnny!"

"Yeah, well, with the fact that each of us kids inherited some money after Dad died I figured there was no use working in a third-world country for two years to help pay for college."

"Sounds logical. What college did you choose?"

"UCLA, Mom, so it looks as though I'll be able to be closer to all of you."

CJ smiled,"That's great to hear. But, I hope you didn't just choose UCLA to be closer to us. "

"No, that's just an added benefit. They offered me a great scholarship."

"Wow, that's great, John. But, I imagine you'll be too busy with your school work to visit us on a daily basis," Matt added, knowing how much CJ would love to see him more. "Unless you want to commute, John? You know you could live here."

He smiled, "Thanks, Houston. Ah, no. I'm gonna live on campus. Almost a necessity being pre-med."

CJ's eyes widened, "Pre-med! Oh, John, you're Dad would be so proud!"

"Thanks. Being around him all these years and hearing him speak so passionately about medicine kind of wore off on me. Plus observing how many times someone in this family seems to be in need of a medical attention, you all led me to think that a doctor is exactly what this family needs!"

Matt laughed at that statement, but CJ rose to her feet and started pacing.

Johnny looked at Matt perplexed, "Did I say something wrong?"

She shook her head as she turned around. She hated difficult conversations. Matt caught her eyes and knew she wanted him to break the ice.

"John, your mom received a phone call from Fred this morning … "

"Yeah … "

"Yeah, well look, sorry to tell you this, but … well … Samantha died in prison yesterday."

Johnny widened his mouth into a huge gasp.

"What? What she die of?"

"Pancreatic cancer."

He digested the information calmly, "So, that's why she wanted to see me and Jordan."

"Yes."

But CJ looked like she had more she wanted to tell him.

"John, wait ... there's something else."

She stalled and Matt offered to fill in the words for her again, but she shook her head. It was her turn to drop a bombshell.

"What's going on, Mom?" Johnny asked, already suspicious.

"There's a chance … a chance that we're related."

He looked at her strangely, "Ah, yeah … you're my stepmom…"

"No, I … that's not what I mean… I ah …" she took a deep breath while Matt gave her his support with his eyes.

"My father died of pancreatic cancer, just like Samantha did, and my mother admitted to me … just this morning, that there's a chance that my father might have also been Samantha's father."

His eyes widened, "You're kidding!"

"No."

"Wow! That's great!"

Needless to say, she was quite surprised by his reaction.

"You're okay with this?"

"Are you kidding? Now it all makes sense!"

"Now what makes sense?"

"Why Dad always said there was something familiar about you, why you reminded him of Samantha!"

"He said that?"

"Yes, once when I was younger I remember hearing Grandma Carlotta and him talking about you, shortly before you married."

This was news to CJ, but after she thought about it for a minute, it sounded like something that Gary would say. And then she realized that she had had more or less the same thoughts her mother did about how there always seemed to be a familiarity about the boys, that they sometimes reminded her of her late father. She hated it when her mother was right.

* * *

_As CJ took a cab from the airport to the Houston mansion she caught herself thinking about the men in her life and how she felt about them. All she could think about last summer when Matt left was how much she missed him, how worried she was about him, and how she couldn't wait to see him. Shortly after, though, her life seemed to change for the better when Carl basically swept her off her feet. She never thought she'd meet someone who she'd have so much in common with, would take her mind off of Matt, and make her fall in love. Her relationship with Carl began to consume her mind whenever she wasn't engaged in classes, studying in the wee hours of the morning, or hanging our with her sorority sisters. At least it did until that phone call from Bill. But, now she was back to thinking about Matt and how horrible he must be feeling right now. So to hell with romance and relationships, she had to focus - her best friend needed her more than ever_.

_As soon as her cab pulled up out front, Bill opened the door and walked out to greet her._

"_CJ…" he said with a smile and a warm embrace. "You're looking well. A lot better than the last time I saw you."_

"_Hi Bill. Thank you, yeah I guess I am," she said with a slight laugh. "How are you?"_

_He managed a smile, "I'm okay, a little worried about my son."_

"_Is he?"_

"_Out in the barn… I think. He headed that direction shortly after we arrived home from the airport. I'm so glad you're here. He's really been taking this hard. I think he blames himself."_

_CJ's heart sunk, "No!"_

"_And as if losing Will wasn't enough, he was met with protesters when he arrived."_

_"God!" She grimaced at the thought of that, knowing how popular war protests had become lately._

"_I'm hoping you can reach him, get him to talk about what's happened. I don't think he'll ever get the past the hurt unless he verbalizes his feelings. You were able to help him when he was younger, after he was kidnapped by that man. I'm hoping you can do it again."_

"_I'll give it my best shot," she stated before taking a deep breath and heading towards the barn._

_As Bill watched her walk away, a wave of confidence came over him. Not just because her presence was a breath of fresh air, but because Maggie's decision to not tell CJ about the baby seemed to be a very wise one. CJ looked happy, healthy and able to deal with a sullen and grieving Matt. He couldn't even imagine how they could have handled everything if they had a baby to take care of, too. _

_As CJ walked towards the barn her heart beat a mile a minute. She couldn't believe the moment was finally here. The moment she had been longing for since saying goodbye to him almost a year earlier. But, alas, the moment was bittersweet. Her best friend was home, but not under the happy circumstances she had envisioned at all, and he was hurting … bad. What would she say to him? How would they react to seeing each other at long last?_

* * *

For the second night in a row CJ found herself in the position of having a lot on her mind as she tried a feeble attempt at sleep. She really needed to talk to her mother and say what was on her mind. Too many years and far too many opportunities to have meaningful conversations had eluded her and she was afraid she'd miss the chance for the most important one yet. Maybe some of the distance between them was her fault – she wasn't too good herself at calling her mother with updates on her life. But, could she really put the blame on her when her mother was the one who had perpetually showed CJ such a cold shoulder?

Matt climbed into bed, cuddled up next to her and immediately noticed the stress on her face.

"Now CJ …" he started to say when she placed a finger to his lips.

"I don't want to hear it, okay?"

Slightly offended, Matt moved her finger away from his lips and held her hand.

"Hear what?"

"That I shouldn't worry about what's gonna happen tomorrow and that I need a good night's sleep because today was a long day and tomorrow might be even longer?"

He smiled, "Yeah that. Okay I won't," ('Cause she already said it for him.) "I just wanna …"

His words died off as he gave CJ less to think about and more to feel with his kisses. After all they were together, not separated by war, fate, or any kind of unfortunate circumstance. She reminded herself how nice it was to lie next to the man she had spent most of life aching to be with. And he was as good for her as she was for him, body and soul, with a very constructive way of distracting her thoughts.


	13. Chapter 13

**Longing for Spring – 13**

Matt awakened the next morning glad to see his wife still sound asleep with what seemed to be a smile on her face. Maybe he was being presumptive, but he probably was the one who put it there. Of course, it could have simply been the result of actually having a good night's sleep. Either way, it was good to see her looking so peaceful.

He slid off the bed as quietly as he could and headed towards the kitchen suspecting he'd be the only one up, but noticed as he peered out the window that his stepson was already doing laps in the pool. As he looked further, he saw Jolie taking the horses out for a little sunshine while she cleaned the barn.

Johnny climbed out of the pool, grabbed a towel, and headed for the house. When he entered the kitchen through the back door, Matt greeted him with a smile.

"You know," he said, making his way to the coffeemaker, "Jolie looks real happy to see you. I've never seen her up this early doing chores. How long can you stay?"

He laughed, "Oh, the semester starts in about a week. So I can stay for a few more days it you want."

"If I want? John, it's great having you around. Has a positive effect on your Mom, too. She really loves when you and Jordan visit. Say, have you heard from your brother lately?"

"Yeah, we talk at least once a week, sometimes more."

"That's good."

"Yeah, he seems to enjoy Army life."

Matt smiled to himself - Jordan was a better man than him on that one.

"Do you hear anything from your Grandmother?"

"Yes, she's been volunteering at The Center a lot. I try to call her or visit as often as possible. Besides missing Dad, I know she misses Mom and Jolie."

"Well, you know she's welcome here anytime. I'm sure they would love to see her, and it might even help CJ deal with what's going on with Maggie right now."

As Matt starting sipping his coffee the wheels started turning in his brain. A visit from Carlotta might be just the thing CJ needed since he was secretly starting to wish she would drop this notion of confronting her mother. He had a bad feeling about it, and history always proved him wrong when he fought his instincts. But, would letting CJ know his concerns bring hard feelings between them? They had always been honest with each other and respected each other's opinions, but they were also newlyweds, and he didn't want to do anything that would interrupt their relationship for the third time in history.

* * *

_With much anticipation she pushed open the door slowly, letting the sunlight stream into the barn. At first she didn't see him until he moved from behind his horse, and then … there he was: wearing an obvious change of clothes of jeans and an old plaid shirt (his uniform had been tossed carelessly aside); he seemed preoccupied, using the chore of grooming and saddling Blaze to busy himself._

_He moved to take a sip of beer just as she pushed open the door further. It creaked, announcing her arrival, causing him look her way. Man, he was a sight for sore eyes._

"_Hi Matt," she said smiling softly, hoping he would want to run into her arms and embrace her._

_But, he just stood there staring at her a few moments, leaving her to guess what he was thinking. His facial expressions didn't give her many clues._

"_Hey CJ," he finally said nonchalantly, without presence of any emotion._

_Right away CJ saw the difference in him. Not only because he was harboring several injuries that hadn't healed completely, but because he looked like he had aged five years in the months they spent apart. The Matt she knew wouldn't have wasted anytime in giving her a warm embrace, but that was before the war. CJ wasn't naïve - she knew a war could change the most positive, charming man into something totally different. But, hadn't he at least missed her?_

_He looked over her casual attire, "Wanna go riding?" _

_She took it as a good sign, "You up to it?" she asked, nodding at his arm._

"_Yep."_

_She walked closer to Molly and gently petted her, "How 'bout you, girl? You gonna keep me on the saddle this time?" she said with a sideways smile, hoping it would remind Matt of a good memory and affect his mood in a positive manner. It didn't._

_They effortlessly locked eyes with each other for what felt like an eternity, yet probably was only seconds. He could see her emotions in her tender, caring eyes and knew she was glad to see him … alive, and sympathized with the pain he was going through. He was happy to see her, too, but the past kept competing with the present, playing the scene in 'Nam over and over, Will's last words still ringing in his head. He prayed that she wouldn't ask him for any details._

_He broke his stare and limped about the barn, gathering Molly's saddle and placing it on her back. CJ watched as he labored, and then assisted him by tightening the stirrups before preparing to mount. She met his eyes again, silently exploring the cliché windows of his soul. She smiled, but he ignored it and moved towards his horse._

_They rode along old paths, taking in familiar scents and sights, neither one saying much to the other. It was a nice change of scenery for CJ and even more so for Matt. The wide-open range and peaceful surroundings were a stark contrast to the din of a war-laden jungle. At one point he ducked as if he was about to be shot by an enemy soldier, but it was only the wind, snapping a twig along their path. He felt slightly embarrassed by his reaction, but she smiled right away, already forgiving his honest mistake. _

_She didn't think they would be riding for very long but his determination must have been stronger than the pain of his injuries for they rode for almost an hour, far enough to be out of sight from any other humans. When he finally stopped, they dismounted and led the horses to the banks of the creek. Matt took out a bottle of beer, sat down on the grass, and leaned against the magnolia tree._

"_Oh, sorry. Want one?" he asked as he gestured to stand._

"_No, thanks," she answered, then paused a moment studying him, wondering what he needed to hear from her right now. Maybe she'd try the usual standard._

"_Matt … for what's worth, I'm real sor …"_

_Her words were quickly shushed._

"_I know. Look, I don't wanna talk about it. Okay?"_

_Even though she didn't quite agree with him, she nodded anyway. (It would be years until he could tell her the details of losing Will.)_

"_What a coincidence, neither do I. I just want you to hold me."_

_He melted at the statement, and labored to his feet to honor her request._

_Her heartbeat quickened as he walked closer to her, opening up his arms best he could to embrace her like she had requested._

_She felt the comfort of his arms around her and the side of his face press against hers. It was a nice moment, even though with all that physical contact, she still felt like her heart was breaking. She didn't exactly know why, it was just a feeling. And she also didn't know why tears were appearing in her eyes. She tried to control them, since she was the one supposed to be bringing comfort, but she failed miserably. He instinctively moved to dry the tears with his hand, framing her face a moment, and then kissed her lightly on the lips. _

_His magic worked for her, but the moment seemed to be too much for him, as he quickly regrouped, removing his hands from her and backing away._

"_You ah … you knocking the competition out of the ballpark up there at Harvard?" he nervously asked, trying to redirect the mood._

_She made as audible a response as she could, "Yeah. Doing my best."_

"_That's good. How's, ah Julia doing?"_

"_Doctors think she's headed for a remission soon. She has one chemo treatment left before their run the next battery of tests."_

"_That's good."_

_He turned back to gaze at her face and couldn't resist touching her hair with the tips of his fingers._

"_You're even prettier than I remember. You must be beating off all those Harvard guys with a stick."_

_She reacted to that compliment by awkwardly looking away from his gaze. Right away he knew he hit a nerve. _

_"What's his name?" _

_She lifted her head at Matt the Mind Reader, "Can I have that beer now?"_

_He reached over into his pack, pried off the cap and handed it to her._

"_Thanks."_

_She took a sip and swallowed hard, searching for the courage and bracing for his reaction. God, she hated difficult conversations! "Ah, his name is ….um… Carl," she answered, glancing towards the ground._

"_Carl, huh? Nice name," he responded casually. "Has he been treating you well? 'Cause you know, I can explain a few things to him if he ever gets out of line."_

_She looked up at him pleasantly surprised, "No, that won't be necessary. He's a good guy, and I've already told him plenty about you, and how especially protective you are of your … friends." _

_Ah! She told him all about me!, his ego celebrated. _

"_He in law school, like you?"_

"_Uh huh. Was in 'Nam, like you."_

"_Army guy?"_

"_Yep."_

"_Hmm. Sounds as if I might like him. Also sounds like life's agreeing with you right now."_

_She nodded and brought her eyes back onto his, "Except for the fact that my heart's breaking for my best friend. Matt, I'm worried about you!"_

_He moved to sit back down against the tree._

"_No, don't worry about me, CJ. I'll be fine eventually. You've got a lot on the ball right now and you should be concentrating on your career and your friends. I don't think I wanna be close to anyone right now and I'm not really sure what I wanna do with my life. It's good you've got someone like Carl to take care of you."_

_To say that she was surprised by his attitude would be a gross understatement. The man who had convinced her to be his girlfriend a year ago now was okay with her seeing someone else? He had to be hiding a very painful spot deep inside of him so he probably needed her understanding – of all that he wasn't able to verbalize – so that he could get past the tragedy of losing Will and go on with his life._

_She joined him by sitting on the ground next to him, "I've missed you."_

_He patted her hand, "I've missed you, too, CJ. How long are you staying?"_

"_I haven't really decided. I wanted to stay at least through the memorial service, or until you didn't need me anymore."_

_He looked down at her hand as he squeezed it, "I'll always need you, CJ. You're my best friend … especially now. But, you don't have to hang around here on my account. It'll be great just knowing that I can call you anytime I need to talk to you. I need you to be happy with your life, while I take some time to figure things out."_

_Well, as much as she wanted to use her slick debate skills right now, she knew she couldn't argue with the man who was being so understanding so recently after going through hell._

"_How's your Uncle Roy and Aunt Flo taking this?"_

"_I'm not really sure. I haven't talked to them yet. Daddy thinks it's a good idea, but I really don't know what to say."_

_She gave him a sympathetic smile._

"_They probably just want to know what his last moments were like, you know, for closure."_

"_Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of."_

_And with that response she knew this was the opportunity to relieve the worst part of the burden he was carrying: blame. "Even without knowing what went on over there, I know it wasn't your fault, Houston."_

_Her mind reading skills surprised him._

"_Yeah? I keep telling myself that, but we made a promise to always look out for each other. I let him down."_

"_No! You could never let anyone down, Houston, it's just not in your nature. And you can't shoulder the blame for all the cruelties of a war, especially one this senseless. You can't!" she cried._

_He appreciated her support and brought her closer by wrapping an arm around her, kissing her lightly on the forehead as she began releasing a year's worth of tears. It seems she was hurting, too ... how could he think otherwise? He softened a bit as her openness made him reveal some of his own thoughts._

"_Oh, CJ. I still can't believe all this. This is like a nightmare. I thought Will and I were home free. I had so many plans, dreams. All I wanted to do was come home and throw my arms around you and pick up where we left off."_

"_We can still do that," she quickly rebutted._

"_No, we can't, CJ. Too much has happened … to both of us."_

_Oh, she knew he had a point, but a part of her wanted to protest him. Dare she tell him that she'd end her relationship with Carl in a heartbeat if he wanted to make love to her right here, right now under the magnolia tree?_

_No, she decided, he needed her friendship more than anything. _

"_I guess you're right," she said as she let her head fall to rest against his shoulder. And there they sat, in comforting silence, for hours ... until the sun started to sink beneath the horizon._


End file.
